“All my buddies are having a huge playdate today, and they’re bringing their Nerf guns!” my son exclaimed the other day. Uh-oh, I thought, here it comes.
I prepared myself for a discussion about his feelings of disappointment over not being invited. “Are you upset that you weren’t included?” I gently asked.
“Nah, I’m fine,” he replied, then excitedly shared all the fun activities they had planned. I genuinely believe he was truly happy for them—no jealousy, no sadness, no disappointment. Just pure joy for his friends. For the millionth time in his 10 years, I found myself wondering, where did you come from?
Parenting a child with an old soul is a humbling experience. I recall a moment when he was just 2 years old. I was feeling down during lunch, trying to mask my sadness. He kept glancing at me while I feigned a smile. Then, he paused, reached out, and touched my cheek with his tiny hand. Looking into my eyes with a profound understanding, it took my breath away. It felt as if he was truly seeing me, and he was just a toddler.
He embodies such a serene presence. This morning, we watched him skip down the driveway to school after a frantic last-minute hunt for his homework, socks, snow boots, and snack—all amid some frantic shouting from his parents. He took it in stride and then, without a care, happily skipped to the bus.
“Why is he so blissfully content?” I asked my husband, my hair frizzing out from the chaos, panting from running up and down the stairs multiple times, looking like I’d just hosted a rave in my pajamas.
“He’s just always happy,” my husband answered. And it’s true. He may be a little scatterbrained and struggle to close his dresser drawers, but that kid radiates happiness.
He shows more patience with his little sister than I do—okay, most of the time. When she was too young to talk, he would often translate for her, despite hearing the same jumbled words I did. It seems he has an unspoken connection to her that I lack. When they play outside, I’ve seen her rush to him for comfort after scraping her knee, bypassing me entirely. He wraps her in his arms, pats her hair, and then they return to their imaginative world where they defeat the troll queen. Just yesterday, he said, “I had so much fun being wizards with you today. You’re really fun to hang out with.” My heart melted. She will step into the world expecting every person she meets to treat her with kindness—thanks to him.
And then come the feelings. Oh my, do we have feelings. The world isn’t always kind, and learning that is part of growing up. Yet, he’s still processing our conversation about animal shelters from—like—two years ago.
Of course, he can be a little rascal at times—because he’s human. He often retreats into his own world, making it tough to pull him back to reality. Sometimes, he takes on the role of a bossy big brother, trying to parent his sister. And he can never find anything—ever. He definitely rolls his eyes at me when I remind him to put his clean clothes away like any typical 10-year-old.
But he can look into my eyes while I’m speaking and make me reflect on life, the universe, and everything in between. He reminds me daily of how fortunate we are to have one another. He is the calm amidst the chaos, humming off-key while learning to finger-weave.
Yet, I do worry about his old soul. I fear that his heart might get broken often because he loves so deeply. I’m concerned that our modern world might diminish what makes him unique, so I encourage him to step away from his iPad and connect with nature, squirrels, and the tranquility of the outdoors.
I also worry that his strong emotions might make the world feel overwhelming and frightening for him. Most of all, I sometimes doubt my own parenting abilities, feeling that my soul might not be as wise as his.
Raising an old soul brings many surprises. When he was 3, he told me that before he was born, he searched everywhere for a mother with just the right voice and was overjoyed when he found me.
Me too, little one. Me too.
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Summary
Raising a child with an old soul can be a deeply rewarding yet challenging journey. This article reflects on the joys and worries of parenting such a child, highlighting their innate ability to connect, empathize, and love deeply. It emphasizes the importance of nurturing their unique qualities while also addressing the potential challenges they may face in a modern world.