As a working mom, I had a revelation one day: the idea of achieving work-life balance is nothing more than a myth. Last spring, while still in my corporate role, I was asked to travel across the country, which meant I would be away from home for 18 nights that month. My frustration boiled over—I had not signed up for this chaos. Despite expressing my concerns to management multiple times, I was told it was non-negotiable. So, I begrudgingly agreed to go.
The Illusion of Balance
When the topic of work-life balance arises, many women feel like they’re falling short. “Balance? What balance?” they lament. “My life is a whirlwind, and when I feel accomplished in one area, I’m failing in another!” And they’re right. It’s time for women to stop feeling guilty about this reality. How often do dads come home to a messy house and feel like they’re letting their kids down? Rarely. Men often see a disorganized home as just part of life, while women tend to internalize that as a personal failure.
Juggling Responsibilities
From the moment we welcome our first child, everything changes. The hobbies we enjoyed, the friendships we maintained, and the free time we cherished all seem to vanish. Instead, we find ourselves swapping leisure for diapers, sleepless nights, and endless responsibilities. The pressure mounts: how can we care for this tiny human while managing work commitments, social gatherings, home maintenance, meal prep, and finances? It feels impossible—and it is. We’ve been deceiving ourselves about what we can realistically achieve, and it’s time to stop. Pretending we have it all together doesn’t benefit anyone.
Recognizing that success in one aspect of life often means sacrificing another will lead to greater happiness as mothers, employees, and partners. If you have a critical deadline at work this week, don’t stress about cooking dinner or volunteering at school. Remember, you are just one person, and it’s perfectly okay to let some things slide.
The Power of No
Setting unrealistic expectations for daily accomplishments is detrimental—not just to you, but to those around you. Learning to say no to non-essential tasks is crucial for your happiness. As nurturers, women often hesitate to deny requests from loved ones, fearing disappointment. But sometimes, you simply have no choice. There are only 10,080 minutes in a week, and with sleep, work, travel, and meals taking up significant chunks, there’s little time left for the countless other tasks on our to-do lists.
Saying no isn’t selfish; it’s necessary for your sanity and your family’s wellbeing. Once you embrace the idea that less can truly be more, you’ll find more joy in your day-to-day life.
Embracing the Current Phase of Life
It’s easy to look back on life before kids and long for what once brought us joy. But instead of dwelling on the past, let’s focus on appreciating our current journey. As our children grow, there will be opportunities to reintroduce activities we love. Remember that relaxing glass of wine you used to enjoy? You won’t be nursing forever! And date nights will become possible again as your oldest child matures into a responsible babysitter—or you can always hire one.
Life evolves, and so do we. Embrace the experiences of today, and shift your focus from what you can’t do to what you can achieve. Work-life balance is about managing what you can accomplish in a day while maintaining your sanity and accepting that it’s okay to let some things go. This phase of life won’t last forever, but it’s what we have right now, and that’s perfectly fine.
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Summary
Working moms often feel the pressure to achieve work-life balance, which is often unrealistic. It’s essential to recognize that success in one area may mean neglecting another. Learning to say no and prioritizing essential tasks can lead to greater happiness. Embracing your current phase of life while letting go of guilt about what you can’t do is key to finding peace.