Dear Little One,
Today, I shared the wonderful news of your existence with the world! With a delightful snapshot featuring your daddy, mommy, and your giggling big brother, we unveiled our little blueberry-sized secret. Yes, we are expecting our second baby, and you are already seven weeks along—but perhaps it feels a bit soon to celebrate.
Some friends expressed their concern, saying, “It’s just so early.” They worry because, at this stage, the journey of your tiny life can be uncertain. Statistically speaking, the odds can feel daunting. I could be radiating joy today, reveling in the miracle of you, and then face heartbreak tomorrow. The reality of miscarriage is something I cannot ignore.
For weeks, I allowed the fear of losing you to creep into my heart. It silenced the joy I should have been feeling about this cherished pregnancy. That fear dimmed the excitement I had for you, leaving me anxious each night as if waiting for a monster to leap from under my bed. Though I experienced nausea, I hesitated to view it as a positive sign. I had food aversions, yet convinced myself it was merely “in my head.”
I was terrified to embrace your presence, fearing that doing so might lead to losing you.
There have been too many stories of loss around me. Friends and family have ridden the emotional rollercoaster of pregnancy’s joy and the sorrow of loss. It felt safer to guard my heart against hope than to risk the pain that might come.
So, the fear took over. I stopped discussing baby names. I avoided conversations about nursery themes, and I hesitated to think about how my eldest would embrace his new role as a big brother. I let fear cloud my vision until it felt like you were fading from my life.
Then, on a Friday, I heard your heartbeat. Just a few rhythmic thumps, and suddenly, I was smitten.
Yes, it’s early. Yes, it’s scary. But the fear doesn’t matter anymore. You are here, and I want to celebrate every single moment of your existence.
As for those concerned friends? They love us both and want what’s best—they’re just worried.
I’m tired of being stuck in that anxious limbo. All that worry had made you slip away from my dreams, my joy, and my future plans. What a loss that would have been.
So today, I choose to celebrate your life—tomorrow and every day thereafter. I want to honor the miracle that is you, for as long as your heart beats. Your presence is a gift that is deeply cherished.
I am determined to embrace and celebrate this gift for as long as I have it. For more insights on navigating pregnancy and home insemination, check out this excellent resource from Progyny. If you’re curious about home insemination kits, you might find useful information here.
In summary, the journey of pregnancy can often be filled with anxiety and fear, especially in the early weeks. However, embracing the joy of a new life while managing those fears is essential. It’s important to celebrate each moment and find support in resources that can help guide you through this experience.