When you’re expecting, there are countless desires that bubble to the surface—things that feel completely natural in the comfort of your home but are distinctly taboo in public. Sure, you could do them, but at what cost? You might risk awkward stares or even a call to the authorities! Here’s a lighthearted look at some of those not-so-public-friendly cravings:
- Cool Off Down There. Let’s be honest: swollen areas and discomfort can be an unfortunate reality in the third trimester. Wouldn’t it be nice to sneak off to the frozen aisle and give your lady bits a little chill without anyone batting an eye?
- Yell, “I REALLY NEED TO GO!” from a public restroom stall. When nature calls and you’re in a dire situation, this outburst could lead to concerned looks or, worse, an awkward conversation with the person waiting outside.
- Apply soothing cream openly. For those of us dealing with sensitive skin, the urge to whip out cream in a public setting can be strong. But, let’s be real—nobody wants to see that!
- Use hemorrhoid cream in a meeting. While it may be necessary, it’s certainly not the most professional move during a brainstorming session!
- Go commando. The struggle is real with maternity wear being too tight sometimes. If only you could shed those layers and embrace the freedom of being completely nude!
- Let it Rip. Everyone knows pregnancy comes with gas, but you’ll be doing your best to keep it under wraps. If only you could let those sounds fly freely without worrying about any side-eye from nearby diners.
- Skip grooming entirely. Sure, you may feel like a neglected mess some days, but you probably don’t want to scare off your friends or partner. A little self-care goes a long way, especially if your doctor isn’t showing up in a Hazmat suit!
- Steal bites from strangers’ plates. Pregnant hunger can hit like a freight train, but raiding someone else’s meal is just a recipe for disaster.
- Seek opinions on your discharge. Is it pee or amniotic fluid? While it’s totally a valid concern, best to keep those inquiries private and consult with your doctor instead.
- Get frisky in public. For those enjoying a heightened libido while pregnant, the urge can be overwhelming. Still, a quick romp on the breakfast bar isn’t exactly appropriate!
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In summary, pregnancy brings with it a slew of desires that can feel impossible to fulfill in public. From discreetly managing discomfort to navigating social norms, it’s a balancing act. Embrace the journey and find your joy in the little moments—just maybe not in public!