Last week, my little one decided to dig for dinosaur fossils in the plant potting soil. He managed to flush a plastic T-Rex down the toilet and even had a spontaneous moment of freedom, peeing on the kitchen floor after removing his diaper. As I chased him around while cleaning up the messes that spread across three rooms, I found myself muttering, “OMG, WTF, are you serious?!”
My kids drain my energy before I’ve even had my morning coffee. This is why I rely on copious amounts of caffeine just to keep pace. So, it was no surprise when my husband and I threw in the towel after our second child. We thought we were done.
However, every now and then, I catch a glimpse of a newborn. It might be at the park, during school pickup, or even in a Facebook update. Suddenly, my hormones start stirring up trouble with my rational mind. It usually begins with hormones asking my brain about her plans. My brain, ever the pragmatist, quickly retorts, “I’m mentally tying our tubes.” But hormones don’t take that lightly, and soon I’m privy to their spirited debate:
Hormonal Debate
Hormones: You know what would be fantastic?
Brain: A nap?
Hormones: Getting pregnant again! Just think about it—the big round belly, the feeling of love, and that delightful newborn scent lingering in the air.
Brain: Are you out of your mind?
Hormones: No, I’m just high on baby fever! I want to be pregnant again!
Brain: Awesome! You could look forward to sleepless nights, swollen feet, and, let’s not forget, more unsolicited advice from your mother-in-law!
Hormones: You’re so mean.
Brain: Just saying…
Hormones: Remember how fun that “let’s-get-pregnant” phase was? We could relive that!
Brain: You could also start jogging and finally shed those pesky 10 pounds.
Around this point, the back-and-forth leaves me pondering if my husband and I were hasty in waving the white flag. Could hormones actually win this argument? As their jabs become simpler, it boils down to basic concepts being thrown at one another.
Simple Arguments
Hormones: Babies!
Brain: Money!
Hormones: Great sex!
Brain: Sleep!
Hormones: Cuddles!
Brain: Your other kids!
Hormones: A break from periods!
Brain: No pushing a baby out!
Hormones: The miracle of life!
Brain: The miracle of peace and quiet!
In the end, I often manage to push through that surge of longing for another child. But then, hormones throw a curveball: “We can still get our baby fix without the pregnancy hassle.”
Brain: Go on…
Hormones: Did you see Jessica getting all excited over Megan’s baby bump?
Brain: Oh, I see where you’re going with this. We could encourage our friends to have babies!
Hormones: Now you’re catching on…
Brain: (fist bump)
My brilliant brain and hormones devised a plan to keep my womb empty while I wrangle my juice box-wielding tornadoes. Besides, they make a good point; I can always be that friend who gets overly excited at baby showers and relishes that delightful newborn scent.
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In summary, the tug-of-war between my desires and reality often leaves me in a whirlwind of thoughts about expanding our family. While the idea of another baby is enticing, the practicalities often win out. Yet, there’s always joy in the anticipation of new life, even if it’s from the sidelines.