Dear Mike,
I want to start by expressing how much I appreciate you as a father and partner. You truly excel at juggling parenting and household responsibilities—thank you for tackling the laundry all these years! Your kindness and love towards me and our kids shine through in everything you do. I admire your commitment to being a role model for our boys, teaching them what it means to be a strong man.
However, there’s something that’s been bothering me, and I can’t keep quiet about it anymore.
Could you please stop using the term “girl” as an insult?
I understand that this comes from your coaching background, where toughness and resilience are highly valued. You want our boys to embody those traits, and I get that. But when they cry over small things, or when they pout, I hear you say, “Quit being a girl.” When they get hurt and don’t just shake it off, you say, “Quit being a girl.” This language sends a message that I believe is harmful.
What you may not realize is that girls are just as strong as boys. I truly think you know this deep down. However, by equating vulnerability with being a girl, you imply that girls are weak, overly emotional, or less deserving of compassion. This notion couldn’t be further from the truth.
I am a woman who has given birth to our four boys. I’ve faced challenges head-on, loved fiercely, and demonstrated resilience in the toughest of times. I’ve undergone three C-sections and was back caring for our little ones the very next day. I can count on one hand how many times you’ve seen me cry, and never over trivial matters.
I want our boys to understand that it’s perfectly okay to feel hurt, to cry, and to lean on us when they’re facing tough moments. I want them to know that experiencing emotions is a part of being human, not a sign of weakness. I hope they can learn that true strength often involves embracing their feelings, even if that means shedding a few tears along the way.
So please, let’s encourage our boys to express themselves without the stigma of “being a girl.” Let’s teach them that caring and sensitivity are virtues, not flaws.
With love,
Your devoted, strong, and sometimes “girly” wife
P.S. If you’re interested in learning more about home insemination, check out this post on Intracervical Insemination, or explore Make a Mom for expert insights. You can also find valuable information on fertility and pregnancy at Hopkins Medicine.
In summary, let’s work together to foster a home environment where our boys can express their feelings without any negative connotations. By breaking the cycle of using “girl” as an insult, we empower them to embrace both strength and sensitivity.