As a parent, there are certainly matters that demand your attention. Your children’s safety tops the list; we would go to any lengths to shield them from harm, even putting ourselves at risk to protect them. It’s natural to want our kids to feel cherished and secure. The bond we share with our children is profound, creating an invisible connection that remains, no matter the distance.
So, if we all strive for the best for our kids, why is parenting such a challenge? A significant part of it is the sheer physicality of caring for little ones. They are demanding and, at times, exhausting. Initially, they keep you up at night, then they whine, cry, and may even turn your home into a disaster zone. They seem hungry all the time and often invade your personal space. Even as they grow, they can still demand a staggering amount of your attention. Despite the deep love we hold for them, parenthood can be unyielding and draining, no matter how resilient we try to be.
However, one of the toughest aspects of parenting is the judgment we often feel from others. This is particularly true when you first step into the world of parenthood. Should you choose natural or epidural birth? Breastfeed or use formula? Co-sleep or opt for a crib? Attachment parenting or letting them cry it out? When I became a new mom, it felt like everyone had an opinion on how I should raise my child, and they were all too eager to share—even when I hadn’t asked.
In my early days as a mom, I was especially susceptible to unsolicited advice. Maybe it was the hormones. Maybe it was because I was younger. But mostly, it was simply the overwhelming nature of being a new parent, where every decision felt like it carried immense weight.
Looking back now, I realize that most of those choices weren’t as monumental as I thought. It didn’t matter whether my first child wore cloth or disposable diapers or that they refused to eat solids until much later. The timeline for walking, dressing themselves, or potty training was irrelevant. What truly mattered was their safety and that they felt loved. If those boxes were checked, then I was doing alright.
So why did I care so much about every little detail? Why do I still get caught up in the minutiae instead of focusing on the bigger picture? And most importantly, why do I let others’ opinions affect me? The reality is that I am the mom—not the relatives who offer unsolicited advice, not the articles that suggest my child should be meeting certain milestones by a specific age, and certainly not the stranger at the park who gives me a disapproving look when my toddler throws a tantrum.
Why should I give anyone else the authority over my parenting? We have the power to decide what truly matters in life. We can choose to care about certain things while dismissing the rest.
As I continue on this parenting journey, I’ve started adopting a simplified perspective. You know that KonMari method for decluttering where you ask if an item brings you joy? It’s unlikely I’ll have the time or energy to tackle my home in that way, especially with kids around, but I can certainly apply a version of it to my parenting life.
Every time someone offers their unwanted opinion, or I second-guess my decisions, or I judge myself as a parent, I ask, “Does this really matter? Will it impact my children’s safety or happiness?” If the answer is no, then I choose not to care.
Today marks the beginning of this new mindset, and it feels liberating. That spilled cereal on the floor? Not a big deal. My three-year-old skipped preschool due to crankiness? Who cares? The crossing guard who frowned at me for not insisting my child wear a winter coat in mild weather? Not my concern. Ultimately, my goal is to end each day surrounded by kids who feel loved and trusted, contributing their unique spark to the world. Everything else? Just noise I refuse to let bother me.
For more insights on parenting and home insemination, check out this article. Additionally, if you’re navigating the journey of starting a family, consider this resource for helpful information. And for those expecting, the CDC offers excellent resources.
Summary
Embracing a relaxed approach to parenting can alleviate unnecessary stress. By focusing on what truly matters—your children’s safety and happiness—you can ignore the judgment and opinions that often cloud your experience. Parenting is a personal journey, and recognizing that you hold the power to define what is significant can lead to a more joyful and fulfilling experience.