When my first child, Jake, was born, I quickly realized that he loved to cry—quite a lot. It took me nearly eight weeks to figure out that he had colic. With limited experience around infants, I had no clue if all babies wailed like Jake or if I was simply struggling with my parenting skills. Regardless of how many lullabies I sang, how energetically I danced, or how gently I rocked him, Jake just cried. Loudly. And for what felt like forever.
But I wasn’t a bad mom; I didn’t fail him.
It turned out that Jake was simply going through one of those relentless phases known as colic, just like countless other families. Knowing I wasn’t alone helped me muster the strength to keep dancing, even when I had been at it for over an hour without success.
When my second child, Max, arrived, I began to understand why some moms stared at me blankly when I shared stories about nights filled with endless crying and days where Max would only sleep for short bursts. They had easy babies, and I finally recognized that not every moment of parenting is a struggle.
For those who have never experienced the unique challenge of caring for a colicky baby, I’d like to offer some guidance on what not to say to a frazzled mom. Trust me, these women have endured months of emotional stress, and you definitely don’t want to cross them. Here are 20 things to steer clear of:
- Have you tried insert generic parenting advice? Oh, so I’m supposed to feed him when he’s hungry? Really?
- I’m exhausted today; I only got six hours of sleep. Six hours? Sounds like a holiday to me—try sleepless nights for weeks!
- Can you please quiet that baby? Sorry, but we’re in a restaurant and not a library!
- Did you catch that new episode of your favorite show? The TV is now just a background noise to the endless cries.
- You look a bit pale, are you okay? If you ask a new mom this, you might want to run—she’s likely too tired to chase you.
- When was the last time you took a shower? Um, maybe sometime last week…or was it the week before?
- Cherish these moments; they grow up so fast! Care to babysit then?
- You think this is tough? Just wait until they’re two. Thanks for the pep talk!
- Have you tried cutting gluten from your diet? Don’t take away my cookies; they’re my sanity!
- My kids never cried like that. Well, you might if you keep talking!
- Can you babysit for me? Sure, if you want to hear a symphony of crying!
- It takes a village, but not today. I’m busy; just don’t say that!
- Thank goodness those days are over for me. That’s just rubbing salt in the wound.
- He’ll grow out of it soon…in a few months. Right now, months feel like an eternity.
- Childbirth doesn’t seem so bad now, does it? Pacing the floors at 2 a.m. is pretty close!
- I remember when my baby cried for a whole hour. That’s cute; I’m just trying to survive here.
- Exercise can boost your energy! You know what else works? Sleep.
- Why don’t you share more photos on social media? Who wants to see a baby with puffy eyes and snot bubbles?
- My parents are coming to stay for two weeks. Is that a joke?
- It’s strange; he never cries when I’m around. Then lucky you—he’s all yours!
I hope you find these tips useful as you navigate friendships with new mothers. While some remarks may seem far-fetched, I promise I’ve heard all of them at least once. It’s not all doom and gloom, though—there are things that exhausted mothers of fussy babies would love to hear, like “Let me hold the baby” and “Take a nap.”
If you want to read more about parenting or home insemination, check out our other blog posts, including this one focusing on helpful tips. You can also visit Make A Mom for expert insights on your journey. For those expecting, this resource is excellent for all things pregnancy-related.
Summary: This article outlines 20 comments to avoid when speaking with mothers of colicky babies, emphasizing empathy and understanding in those challenging early months. It encourages supportive interactions and offers resources for further reading on related topics.