As I dive into the refreshing water, a chill envelops me, momentarily stealing my breath away. I swim a couple of strokes before turning back to the shore. When I surface, I see my daughter, Lily, beaming with pure joy.
“See,” she exclaims, her voice bubbling with excitement. “It feels so amazing, right? I just love this!” With her arms extended to the sky, she shouts, “I LOVE THIS!”
“It’s wonderful,” I reply, and she leaps into my arms for a massive hug that sends us both tumbling into the water. We play a game of follow-the-leader along the picturesque shoreline, with her swimming a few paces ahead. I can’t help but admire the incredible young girl she is becoming.
Every so often, she stops to point out a fish, a unique rock, or a log that resembles an eye. The smile on her face stays put, and mine mirrors it.
“I love you,” she says when we pause to catch our breath. In that moment, her sincerity radiates, and I feel my heart melt. It finally seems like she’s embracing her adventurous spirit, and I’ve longed to see her overcome her fears and welcome life’s surprises. My heart swells with pride at her growth.
For years, I’ve worried that I’m not living up to my role as her mother. I have so many hopes for her, yet often feel ill-equipped to help her achieve them. I see her apprehensive about spiders, heights, and speaking to new people, and it leaves me questioning my parenting.
Is my example strong enough? Am I pushing her too hard or not enough? Does she feel accepted? Am I trying to mold her into someone she’s not? Is she receiving enough love? The weight of these concerns can be overwhelming, and I desperately want to get it right for her.
One night, as I snuggle beside her in bed, we share our goodnights. I lean in for a kiss, and she suddenly grasps my face with both hands, tears welling in her eyes.
“Mommy, do you think I’m weird?” she asks, her voice trembling.
Before I can respond, she bursts into intense sobs, and all I can do is hold her. My heart shatters as I realize that my wonderful, creative, kind, and beautiful daughter thinks she’s strange.
I want to tell her how absurd that thought is and demand to know who planted such an idea in her head. Doesn’t she see how extraordinary she is? But deep down, I know this moment isn’t about me—it’s about her need to be heard.
So I take a breath and listen.
She expresses her worries about not always wanting to dress like other girls or enjoy the same things. Her love for dragons over princesses and her preference for karate over dance leave her feeling isolated.
“Nobody is ever going to be my best friend,” she cries. “I’m so weird.”
I let her feelings flow, allowing the tears to come.
“Do you think I’m weird?” she asks again, her eyes searching mine.
“I love everything about you,” I reply. “Do you like yourself?”
Her tear-filled gaze shifts slightly, and she responds, “I think so.”
“What do you like about yourself?” I ask, hoping to draw out her strengths.
She contemplates, and I can see her face brighten. “I’m funny, and I’m special because I don’t just do what everyone else does.”
“And what else?”
“I’m kind and I give great back massages.”
“All true,” I affirm, smiling.
“I’m really good at round-house kicks; my sensei says so!” she adds, her confidence growing.
“Absolutely.”
“I bet I’ll find someone who likes all that stuff, right?”
“Sure, but remember, they don’t have to share all your interests. They just need to appreciate you for who you are.”
Her expression deepens again, and she asks, “Do you really like me, Mom? Like, for real?”
“More than you can imagine,” I tell her. “You’re my girl, and I wouldn’t change a thing about you.”
We end our conversation with kisses, cuddles, and hugs. Her brother, who had been listening nearby, joins in, showering her with love. Soon, the scene turns into a delightful love fest among siblings.
Learning to love my daughter while allowing her to find her own path is the most challenging part of motherhood. My instinct is to shield her from every hurt and disappointment, but I understand that she must discover her own strength through these experiences.
I can’t fix everything. My role is to Listen and Love. That’s my job. Listen. Love. Repeat.
Thank you for this important lesson, my dear Lily. If you’re interested in exploring more about parenting and growth, check out this insightful blog post on parenting and self-acceptance. And if you’re looking for reputable resources regarding home insemination, consider visiting IVF Babble or purchasing a kit from Make a Mom.
Summary:
In this heartfelt narrative, Ava reflects on her journey as a mother, particularly the challenges and triumphs of nurturing her daughter, Lily. As Lily grapples with feelings of inadequacy and uniqueness, Ava learns the importance of listening and providing unconditional love. Through their emotional exchanges, the bond between mother and daughter strengthens, highlighting the significance of self-acceptance in childhood development.
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