The farmers’ market was bustling, and I was racing against the clock. With cash in hand, only one customer stood in my path to purchasing a dozen farm-fresh, organic, free-range eggs. Yet, the woman in front of me couldn’t stop adding items to her order.
“I WANT IT!” her toddler shrieked from her hip, pointing at the vibrant carrots. The woman beamed like a celebrity and handed over the carrots to the sweaty teen at the stall. “MINE!” the little one insisted again, this time eyeing some rosy fingerling potatoes. “How could you say no?” she exclaimed, as the line behind her continued to grow longer, “to a toddler who just wants his veggies?” My annoyance deepened when the tyrannical tot demanded cranberry beans. Not only was I pressed for time, but her self-satisfied tone was grating.
Related: Curious About Feeding Your Little One? Check Out This Post on Early Dietary Choices.
I will admit, I once had that same self-assured attitude. But I’d rather not be reminded of it now.
I have two quirky sons, now aged 6 and 8, who have always been adventurous eaters. When the book about sneaking spinach into brownies hit the shelves, I was bewildered. My kids devour spinach by the bushel—whether raw or cooked. They enjoy broccoli, beans, squash, and even kale. One of them insists on eating beets hot, but I try not to hold that against him.
And yes, I’ve relished the astonished looks from other adults. At our local Italian restaurant, my six-year-old is affectionately dubbed “the kid who orders extra spinach.” During a vacation at a high-end Japanese restaurant, a young server was flabbergasted when my kids ordered ikura (salmon eggs) and tako (octopus). “I didn’t try that until I was an adult!” she exclaimed, “And I’m Asian!”
Sometimes, these reactions make me wonder just how dire the situation is out there. “You’re the first kid ever to order veal medallions with fennel and lemon butter sauce,” a waitress remarked recently. I could only respond with, “Really?” Because, honestly, it’s just meat and potatoes!
For a few years, I naively took credit for their fearless culinary choices. I thought it was my adventurous spirit, my relaxed demeanor, or the fact that I presented a vegetable at dinner every night. I never served chicken nuggets or boxed mac and cheese. I mean, I was an amazing mom, right? Cue the laughter.
I apologize to the world; I now realize how misguided that thought process was. If their eating habits were entirely a reflection of mine, you might assume that I also have some pretty questionable habits—like picking my nose or using my shirt as a napkin.
So, if my parenting wasn’t the secret ingredient, what’s behind their adventurous tastes? Perhaps it’s simply a mix of birth order and our unique personalities: an easygoing oldest child, a younger sibling eager to prove himself, and a father who embraces culinary exploration. At our table, being picky just isn’t cool.
Another theory is that they developed adventurous palates because I once forbade it. As a nervous new mom, I followed every guideline. The first meal for baby should consist of precisely one tablespoon of rice cereal mixed with breast milk, served in tiny increments while monitoring for potential allergic reactions.
But I’ve moved past that now. Due to my initial caution, we never encouraged our boys to try oysters or mussels (now favorites of my 8-year-old) during their high chair days. Instead, I’d insist, “No! You can’t possibly want that! You’re just a baby! You’ll choke! Here, have some pureed mush from a jar.”
Living in New York City, we eat sushi often. We typically offer cooked options first—a little teriyaki chicken or avocado maki. But it didn’t take long for the youngest to notice that Daddy’s chopsticks were holding something different. He pointed at the mackerel sashimi, and Daddy obliged.
It’s reverse psychology, folks. This technique only works if you’re unaware you’re employing it. I found myself sheepishly asking the pediatrician whether raw fish was safe for toddlers. Living in Manhattan, he shrugged and said his kids eat sushi all the time.
As a result of my parenting blunders, I enjoy a peaceful dining experience. However, there are downsides. When you have gourmet-loving kids, they may eventually turn their noses up at simpler foods. For a time, my kids completely stopped eating cooked fish. It was a struggle; fish is healthy, and I’m no sushi chef! Toddlers enjoying fancy restaurant sushi is cute, but watching two active boys devour sushi after a soccer game can be quite the expense. And then there’s the snob factor—picture my round-faced three-year-old asking an exhausted waitress at a roadside diner, “What are the specials?” Sometimes, that’s just not adorable at all.
However, since mealtime has been relatively smooth for us, I’ve gained some perspective. When one of my kids claims he doesn’t like something, I say nothing. It’s not that I possess incredible restraint; I simply don’t care. If a child who eats rutabaga, salmon Provencal, split pea soup, and stuffed peppers declares that he doesn’t like the capers in his pasta sauce, I’m less than concerned.
While I can’t offer a magic formula for raising adventurous eaters, I can share my experience: not discussing veggies at the table can be liberating.
So, I grant you permission—next time you find yourself in a similar situation, just let it slide. Suppose you’ve ordered Chinese food because your three-year-old occasionally enjoys chicken & broccoli, and he hasn’t touched anything green in weeks, except for a lime popsicle. Yet tonight, he refuses to even look at it. Close your eyes and imagine that he usually eats like a Michelin-starred chef. Picture that just yesterday, he devoured fresh root veggies dipped in spicy hummus, miso soup with tofu, and bean sprouts in sesame oil.
I urge you to take a break from caring. Hand your child that bag of strange little fried noodles the restaurant tossed in as an afterthought, and let him savor those. As for the chicken and broccoli? Just think, “More for me!” and pour yourself a glass of wine. Enjoy the peace, and who knows—perhaps your newfound silence will shift the balance.
For more on parenting challenges, you might also want to check out this insightful article on navigating the ups and downs of family life.
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