Parenting
By Jessica Morgan
March 8, 2016
Recently, I found myself attending what has become the highlight of my social calendar: a child’s birthday celebration. While some parents dread these gatherings, I revel in the thought of a house full of kids—mostly relatives—to keep my little ones entertained. It’s a glorious three-hour period where the children can roam freely in a secure, familiar setting, allowing me to engage in adult conversations for the first time in days.
So you can imagine my irritation as I sipped my fruit-infused punch and mingled with friends around the kitchen island. Suddenly, I heard a small voice call out, “Mom! Mom!” accompanied by tiny hands tugging at my pant leg.
Much to the dismay of the judgmental parents in the room, I continued to chat without looking down. Am I a heartless, uncaring mother? Absolutely not. I simply adhere to the golden rule of fostering independent play: Never make eye contact.
Now, let me clarify that the no-eye-contact rule isn’t universal. Of course, I would attend to my child if she were hurt, hungry, or tired. However, in most cases, this is the scenario: a child is happily engaged in play. She glances up and sees you; she thinks, “Hey, there’s Mom, sitting over there with that magazine. She seems bored. Time to pull her hair!” Or perhaps she catches your eye, and you smile, leading her to abandon her activity and whine until you pick her up. Bottom line: Never make eye contact.
Here are a few strategies to help navigate these situations:
- Stay Occupied
Kids tend to play better when parents are busy with something. So, even if you despise cleaning, grab that mop and get to work. You’ll likely find your kids suddenly engrossed in a toy they haven’t touched in ages, and you’ll have a tidy home. It’s a win-win! It’s a funny twist because all you want is to sit and relax after a long day of parenting, yet staying active actually makes everything smoother. - Avoid the Playroom
If you’ve just finished the dishes and your kids are happily playing in the living room, resist the urge to stroll into their line of sight. The moment you do, the peace will shatter. So, stick to the kitchen. You can do what I did yesterday: grab a box of snacks and sit on the floor. I managed to enjoy a glorious 17 minutes of freedom on that hard tile, and it was blissful. - Find a Hiding Spot
Yes, I said it—hide. In my experience, 99% of sibling conflicts, boredom, or other issues can resolve themselves without my input. Whether it’s ducking behind the kitchen counter or finding refuge behind someone else at a crowded venue (like that birthday party), don’t be shy about it. Just make sure to explain to the kind stranger why you’re hiding: “Don’t mind me, I’m just trying to avoid my kid.”
So, what happened at the birthday party when I didn’t make eye contact with my daughter? Within six seconds, she realized she was perfectly fine and that Mom was staying put, so she happily wandered off to join the other kids. The no-eye-contact strategy prevails once again. Now, back to the punch!
For more parenting insights, check out this resource on family-building options and consider exploring this post for additional tips. If you’re looking for authoritative information on self-insemination, visit this link for a great overview.
Summary:
The no-eye-contact parenting strategy allows kids to play independently, reducing interruptions and helping parents enjoy adult conversations. By staying busy, avoiding the playroom, and finding hiding spots, parents can create a more peaceful environment for everyone involved.