Before we discovered that our youngest child had severe, life-threatening food allergies, we kept emergency information on a wrinkled piece of paper hidden away in a drawer between the potato peeler and the corkscrew. However, when Mia was just 8 months old, we visited the allergist, hoping to understand her persistent congestion and eczema. I entered the appointment feeling optimistic, but left completely deflated. We learned that our little one was allergic to eggs, peanuts, tree nuts, dairy, and wheat. We received strict instructions to carry an EpiPen at all times, avoid letting anyone who had even touched peanuts come near her, and schedule a follow-up appointment.
In the weeks that followed the diagnosis, I cried overwhelming tears whenever I thought about it. Would I be able to shield my baby from a stray cashew? Could I trust anyone else to keep her safe? Would she miss out on being a typical kid? These concerns consumed me.
Fast forward a year since that diagnosis, and while I still worry about my now 20-month-old daughter, I’ve learned to plan ahead for all food-related situations. As friends and family assured me, living with allergies has become our new normal. Once the initial shock fades and you adjust, managing food allergies isn’t so daunting. If any of the following resonate with you, welcome to the world of parenting an allergic child, where a random snack on the playground feels as alarming as spotting a rattlesnake.
- You don’t hesitate to tell anyone—whether it’s a babysitter, a friend, or an overly chatty grandma in line at the bank—that they should “not feed my kid.” If it were socially acceptable, you’d attach a “Do Not Feed Me” sign around her neck like they do at the zoo.
- When gluten-free, casein-free, dairy-free, soy-free chicken nuggets go on sale, you stockpile 10 packages.
- Your 3-year-old’s baby doll suffers from “anaphylactic” episodes.
- You obsessively read food labels, recognizing all the long, complicated words that could indicate the presence of dairy, wheat, nuts, or eggs.
- You think nothing of rummaging through the trash at a friend’s house to check the food packaging for ingredient lists.
- Your 3-year-old proudly tells babysitters that she knows how to use the EpiPen. While you haven’t confirmed this, you’re pretty sure she’s seen you demonstrate it enough times to get it right.
- When you arrive at any park, library, indoor play area, or friend’s home, you scan the floor for potential allergens. You repeat this each time a new child arrives and even if no one new shows up, just to be cautious. You know others might see you as a helicopter parent, but you’re too busy watching for rogue peanuts to care.
- When invited to a social event, you weigh several factors: the event’s timing, your relationship with the host, how long you’ll stay, whether there will be young kids eating (and dropping) allergens, and the host’s experience with allergies. You then decide whether to attend, question the host about the menu ahead of time, casually inquire when you arrive, or simply bring your own safe meal—though you know you’ll ultimately bring your own food.
- Your 3-year-old creates “birthday cakes” (a pile of blocks stacked on a shoebox lid) that she claims are “dairy-free, gluten-free, and vegan.”
- You instill a healthy fear of allergens in everyone who cares for your child, and you prefer it that way. Well, not everyone—you wish your sister would take it a bit more seriously.
- You have the number of the local gluten-free, dairy-free bakery saved in your contacts and have memorized their hours. You keep a few of their cupcakes in the freezer for safe treats at birthday parties or social gatherings, and you resist indulging in them until after the kids are asleep. Most of the time.
- Your baby’s first taste of ice cream isn’t really ice cream; it’s vegan, gluten-free lemon basil gelato—not because you’re health nuts (though that’s how many people see you), but because it’s necessary.
- Your sister inundates you with photos of ingredient lists from foods she’s considering when you visit, making sure they’re safe. You’re filled with gratitude and feel a twinge of guilt for how you acted toward her in childhood.
- The best birthday party you’ve attended was the one where the host reached out beforehand to understand your child’s allergies and went out of her way to prepare special allergen-free pancakes.
- When traveling by plane, your diaper bag is packed with enough safe snacks for several days because while air travel with a toddler is unpredictable, one thing is certain: none of the free snacks on the plane are safe for your child.
- You keep your child’s emergency information updated in a special plastic folder, always stored in the same place. You’ve added a bright yellow piece of duct tape on the front listing all allergies and your address, since 911 may not know where you’re calling from on a cell phone. In that folder, five pages are dedicated to the child with allergies, while the sibling gets just one page.
- You can’t wait for your allergic child to start speaking—not because you’re eager to hear all the sweet and funny things she’ll say (although you are), but because you’ll sleep better knowing she can say, “I have food allergies.” But let’s be real, as a mom, better sleep is just a fantasy.
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In summary, parenting an allergic child comes with unique challenges and adjustments that quickly become part of your daily life. From navigating social situations to ensuring safety, the journey can be overwhelming, but it also fosters a sense of community and understanding among those walking a similar path.