Pregnancy during the third trimester can feel like a whirlwind of emotions and experiences. Having been through this phase a few times, I’ve gathered a list of signs that might not make it into your typical pregnancy guide. So, grab a comfy seat and let’s dive into the wild ride that is the last stretch of pregnancy.
- You find yourself negotiating with your partner for help to clip and paint your toenails.
- Your kids become your makeshift sock putters-on.
- Upon entering any public venue, your first instinct is to locate the nearest restroom; your second is to race your swollen feet and chafed thighs there.
- Strangers always start by checking out your belly, then your face, then back to your belly again.
- Prepare for a slew of unsolicited comments from random folks, including gems like: “Are you having twins?” “Looks like you’re due any minute!” “When’s your due date? That’s my cousin’s birthday!” And my personal favorite, “I hope whatever you have isn’t contagious!”
- You wish you could wear a sign saying, “I’m feeling great, my due date is ____, we’re having a ____, and this is baby number ____. Thanks for not asking!”
- You could probably pee in a cup with your eyes closed, even while juggling a squirming toddler and a bag of snacks.
- You regret taking the stairs at your OB appointment, feeling like a contestant on a weight-loss show.
- Your 4-year-old suggests that you should jump back into those intense workout routines you used to do.
- These days, your idea of exercise is merely making trips to the fridge and bending down for socks. Seriously, why did you have the first two kids?
- Your wardrobe has dwindled to just a couple of shirts, both of which feature strange elastic sides that look like a pug’s face.
- One shirt is reserved for special outings, while the other is your go-to for everyday wear, no matter how dreadful it is.
- You start calling your grandma for guidance on selecting comfortable undergarments.
- That maternity swimsuit you thought was cute last winter? You wish you hadn’t bought it, as it now makes you look like a famous marine animal.
- At the local pool, there’s a splash zone that feels like it was made just for you.
- You’re now singing praises for those belly panel pants that you once thought were unnecessary. If they don’t have a panel, they’re useless to you now.
- You begin collecting items to burn all your maternity clothes once the baby arrives.
- Your kids read a story about an alligator and are convinced you’ve swallowed a watermelon seed.
- You find yourself waking up 3-4 times a night—once or twice for a bathroom trip, a couple of times for leg cramps, and at least once for a late-night snack run.
- Getting out of bed during the night should be an Olympic event; you contemplate using a pole vault for assistance.
- Daytime naps become the pinnacle of your daily agenda.
- During your weekly OB visits, the nurses greet you with, “Oh, it’s you again! Where’s your Cup-O-Pee?”
- You secretly hope your doctor takes his sweet time to arrive so you can squeeze in a quick nap.
- Did your water break? Nope, just a sneeze.
- Was that a contraction? Nope, just the Doritos talking at 3 a.m.
- Each week until your due date, you’re convinced a new chin is sprouting.
- Your fingers have transformed into chubby sausages that are trying to devour your rings. Better take them off while you still can!
- You realize your belly makes a perfect snack table and reading stand but, sadly, it also leads to stains on your precious few shirts.
- You question why your electric bill has skyrocketed. Is it just me, or is it super hot in here? Time to crank up that A/C, who cares about saving money!
- Finally, you daydream about a luxurious mini-vacation with all the amenities—don’t forget the Dermoplast and Tucks wipes!
This article captures the quirky realities of the third trimester with humor and honesty. For more insights into pregnancy and home insemination, check out this informative post on privacy policies. Additionally, if you’re looking for a trusted source on home insemination, visit Cryobaby’s at-home insemination kit page. For an in-depth look at artificial insemination, this Wikipedia page is an excellent resource.
In summary, the third trimester is a unique phase filled with its own set of challenges and experiences. Embrace the chaos, and remember that you’re not alone on this journey!