When little ones start asking questions about sex, it’s a great opportunity to share the truth rather than avoiding the topic. Many parents choose to wait until their kids reach a certain age before discussing these subjects, often dodging challenging questions and crafting creative answers to sidestep uncomfortable conversations. However, this approach can lead to confusion, and the reality is that young children may be more prepared to understand the facts than we realize.
In a piece for The Washington Post, Emma Green shares a conversation with her inquisitive 3-year-old son. While he was exploring his body, he innocently declared, “Mom, I think these are my kidneys.” He had been curious after hearing about kidneys and urine during a discussion with his father. Instead of brushing it off, Emma decided to clarify the situation. “Those are your testicles,” she explained. He then wondered if urine was involved, to which she responded, “Not quite, but they are connected to your farfoora (the Arabic word for penis), so I see why you might think that.”
As the boy sought more information, Emma decided to wait for her husband, John, to come home, as he had always been open about discussing sex with children. When John arrived, their son quickly revisited his earlier question. John explained that testicles produce sperm and when asked what sperm does, he responded candidly, “Sperm goes into the womb and makes a baby.” The boy seemed satisfied and returned to his toys.
John believes, “I’d rather my child know the facts. If they ask, they’re ready.” This philosophy has guided Emma and John as their children, ages eight and six, have learned more about their bodies and reproduction than many of their peers. They’ve always prioritized transparency in their conversations.
It’s important to note that they don’t bombard their kids with explicit details; instead, they answer questions as they arise. Rather than waiting for a formal discussion in their teenage years, they embrace the philosophy of nurturing curiosity in an age-appropriate manner. This approach may not resonate with every family, but having grown up in an environment where sex was shrouded in secrecy, Emma chose openness for her own kids. While she holds no grudges against her parents for their choices, she recognizes the pitfalls of that method and wants a different experience for her children.
By withholding information about sex or replacing factual answers with myths (like the Stork or cutesy names for private parts), we do our children a disservice. While we don’t need to delve into graphic details, it’s fair to provide straightforward, age-appropriate explanations about how babies are made if they inquire. After all, as John points out, children will hear the truth from their friends if we don’t tell them. Emma has already encountered situations where her daughter came home with absurd claims about sex from a classmate. By providing accurate answers, parents can equip their children with knowledge that empowers them against misinformation from peers.
If you’d like to learn more about fertility-related topics, check out this excellent resource on IVF and fertility preservation from the Cleveland Clinic. And for those looking to boost their fertility, you can explore supplements at Make A Mom.
In summary, when children ask about sex, embracing honesty fosters understanding and clarity. Parents can ensure their kids are informed and equipped to handle the information they may encounter from others.