My partner and I were enjoying dinner with some new friends we had met a few months ago. After numerous attempts at arranging a double date—thanks to our busy schedules and little ones—we finally managed to grab a night out without the kids. The food was delicious, and the company was even better. We shared laughs over toddler antics, messy homes, and quirky in-laws. It felt so refreshing to connect with friends so easily.
The bond of parenthood is universal.
As the evening progressed, our conversation turned to our favorite TV shows, and my partner casually shared that I was a songwriter who once auditioned for a music show.
“Really?” our friends responded, clearly surprised. “Wow, Sarah, I had no idea you played guitar!”
For a moment, I was taken aback. Anyone who knows me is aware of my passion for music. I’ve been strumming and singing for as long as I can remember, but since becoming a mother, I’ve struggled to keep that part of me alive.
Over the past couple of years, I have dedicated myself to being a stay-at-home mom, convinced that my role was to create a perfect, joyful environment for my little one. Every hour was meticulously planned, filled with activities catered to a toddler’s curious mind—countless trips to playgrounds, splash pads, and storytime with puzzles and books.
My son lives in a world that I’ve crafted with love, but in doing so, I’ve lost sight of who I am. Although I cherish motherhood, I can’t help but ask myself: Aren’t I more than just a mom?
When my son entered the world, I was a woman of many talents. I was an artist, a musician, a book lover, and a friend. Yet, fast forward two years, and my self-introduction at a recent Sunday school gathering went something like this:
“Hi, I’m Sarah. This is my partner Jake, and we have a delightful 2-year-old we call ‘Buddy.’ And, um, that’s about it?”
I’ve been so focused on creating a joyful world for Buddy that I forgot his life is about discovery, not just creation. My role is to show him the beauty around us, and in that process, I’ve neglected the beauty I once cherished myself.
Just yesterday, I found myself standing in front of my dusty guitar case. A wave of nostalgia washed over me, and I couldn’t help but feel butterflies in my stomach. It has been too long since I touched my beloved instrument. As I opened the case and hugged my guitar, I clumsily strummed a few chords. After an hour of reconnecting with music and revisiting an old hymn, I felt rejuvenated. My spirit was nourished.
One day, when I’m no longer here, I imagine my child reminiscing about me. “What was your mom like?” I hope he remembers the love and security I provided, but I also wish for him to recall my passion for music, my love for his father, and even my struggle with my weight due to my fondness for cheese dip. I want him to see me as someone who embraced life and taught him to do the same.
Yes, motherhood is a huge part of my life, but I am so much more than just a mother.
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In summary, while I embrace the joys of being a mother, I also recognize the importance of nurturing my own identity. It’s essential to find time for the passions and interests that make us who we are.