My son, Lucas, had just celebrated his 5th birthday, the first one where he truly grasped the significance of becoming a year older. I wish I could channel that same enthusiasm for my own birthdays!
“Am I a big boy now, Mommy?” he asked with bright eyes.
“Yes, sweetheart. You’re very big,” I replied with a smile.
A few days later, while we were out running errands, a woman in line at the grocery store turned to us and asked Lucas his age.
“I’m 5!” he beamed, his excitement evident.
The woman then looked at me with an arched eyebrow. “Is he really 5?” she inquired.
I nodded, thinking nothing of her curiosity. Kids can be quirky; my daughter once claimed she was 27 when she was in school.
“Wow. He’s so little,” she said, gently tousling his hair. “Doesn’t your mommy feed you enough?” Though her tone was lighthearted, her words struck a nerve.
Yes, I’m aware my child is on the smaller side. I understand she didn’t mean any harm, nor did she intend to question my parenting abilities. Yet, it was still a comment that lingered in the air.
As we finished our shopping, I noticed Lucas was unusually quiet, not his usual bubbly self. He wasn’t greeting fellow shoppers with his signature “Hi, what’s your name?” or trying to convince me to buy the giant box of superhero snacks.
“What’s up, buddy?” I asked.
“Mommy, you said I was big,” he replied, looking at me with sadness.
He had a valid point. For the past week, I had been celebrating his newfound age, only for a casual remark from a stranger to chip away at that confidence.
Although Lucas is 5, he’s roughly the size of a tall 2-year-old. His size 2T pants fit him well around the waist but are a bit short. Perhaps you could also say he resembles a short 3-year-old, but I think you catch my drift. He’s petite.
Despite his size, he’s a healthy child. Lucas’s early life was challenging; he was born with complex digestive issues and was orphaned just days after birth. The medical care and nutrition he received during those crucial early years were inadequate. We adopted him shortly after he turned 3, and he was severely malnourished at that time. I’ve dedicated the last two years ensuring he has plenty of nourishing food to help him catch up.
He’s small, yes. Perhaps his early neglect contributed to his size, or maybe it’s just genetics. I can’t say for sure. Maybe he’ll have a sudden growth spurt and be the tallest kid in his class someday. Who knows?
He doesn’t even appear on the growth charts for his age group, but he’s making progress. I recall the early days, patiently spooning heavy cream and butter into his meals to boost calories while worrying about his nutrition. Despite those rocky beginnings, my boy is thriving and growing—healthy, yet still small. And yes, I know he’s small.
Every time someone asks about Lucas’s age, I internally brace myself for the inevitable remarks like, “Wow, really? He’s such a tiny guy!” or “I thought he was younger.” These comments are becoming harder to hear as he grows and becomes more aware of how others view his body. I continue to tell him he’s a big boy because that’s what moms do. I find myself giving him encouragement about our differences more frequently, thanks to the offhanded remarks from well-meaning strangers.
What if my kid were on the heavier side? Would people say similar things aloud in front of him? Comments like, “Wow, that’s a hefty one you’ve got there” or “What are you feeding him?”
Body image and fat-shaming are hot topics right now. A quick search online reveals countless articles about the importance of teaching children that inner qualities matter more than outer appearance. But does that only apply to those who are overweight? While it’s generally considered rude to comment on someone being too large, pointing out someone’s small size appears to be acceptable. However, it’s not right to make comments about anyone’s body, regardless of their size or shape.
I know my child is small, but he’s also strong. Though his body may be tiny, he can run, climb, and kick a ball with enthusiasm (although asking him to pick up his toys is mysteriously “too hard” and makes him feel tired). Will he one day tower over his classmates? Perhaps. He’s only 5, and his future is still unwritten. Whether he becomes a star athlete or a celebrated jockey, I’ll be thrilled as long as he grows into a happy, well-adjusted person. His potential isn’t limited by his height.
Yes, I’m aware my son is small. So please, keep your comments about his body—and anyone else’s body—to yourself. Thank you very much.
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In summary, while my son may be small for his age, his strength and potential far exceed any physical limitations. Comments about his size don’t define him, and it’s important to remember that everyone deserves to be respected, regardless of their body type.