They say it takes a community to raise a child, but at times, motherhood can feel akin to solitary confinement. Whether you live in a cozy two-bedroom apartment or a sprawling 3,000-square-foot home with stunning granite countertops, crown molding, and plush carpet, one thing is for sure: your space is likely not a cramped cell with just a sink, bed, and toilet bolted to the floor. And that’s a relief! While your home may not always be the cleanest or most organized, at least it’s not a prison cell. So why does domestic isolation sometimes seep into our lives?
It’s no secret that making time for friends can be challenging as we navigate nap schedules and feeding times. Organizing a social outing with kids often feels like a military operation, requiring hours of planning and maybe a bit of luck. The result? We often opt to bring everyone over for an epic playdate instead—after we tackle that mountain of laundry and declutter the kitchen, of course.
Achieving a perfectly tidy home is a tall order. No sane person would venture into a house where the sink is overflowing with dishes, the kitchen table is sticky, and the only drink available is plain water. Surely, no other household has ever been, you know, actually lived in.
I find myself cleaning and organizing daily to recover from the chaos of our lives, but hosting a social gathering still feels daunting. While I wait for that elusive day when my home is “ready” and my kids are “easier” to manage, I often turn to my computer for a story, a laugh, or a connection. Truth be told, I’m also anxiously checking for notifications. That little red number brings a rush of dopamine—perhaps the only adult interaction I’ll have all day.
Did someone want to be my friend? Did a stranger like my post? Did my pals leave kind comments on my latest haircut? Did I get approved for a secret group? Did I receive an invite to a buy-stuff party? Did a classmate from third grade find something I wrote amusing?
A weekend away with my brother’s family opened my eyes to how starved I was for real-life connections and how many thoughts I kept bottled up. I didn’t even ask for the Wi-Fi password because I didn’t want to admit I brought my phone along for company. I wanted to prove I could thrive without my device.
Once I returned home, I promised myself to reach out more and live outside of my screen. I recognized that I was falling prey to the negative effects of domestic isolation. It’s no surprise that human rights advocates oppose solitary confinement in prisons, given its link to depression and anxiety. If this is the treatment reserved for the worst among us, it’s no wonder mothers in similar isolation face their own struggles.
To combat the loneliness that comes with motherhood, I invited a friend and her daughter over for a movie night. I made it a point to greet the crossing guard on our daily walks to school. At the grocery store, I engaged in a heartfelt conversation with a cashier about cooking fish. I even attended book signings to soak in an author’s wisdom for a full hour.
Even though I have a close relationship with social media, you’re welcome to come over and help me fold laundry, manage tantrums, raid the pantry, and reminisce about old flames. It’s going to be a blast! Just don’t tell Facebook I didn’t extend an invite this time.
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Summary:
Motherhood can often feel isolating, resembling solitary confinement despite living in a warm home. As we juggle the demands of parenting, social interactions can slip through our fingers. It’s crucial to break free from the confines of isolation by reaching out to friends and engaging in face-to-face conversations. While social media can offer a semblance of interaction, genuine connections are essential for our well-being. Let’s embrace the chaos of motherhood together and foster those meaningful relationships.