My Polished Persona vs. My Authentic Self

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There’s a version of me that I recognize when I glance in the mirror each morning, still groggy with sleep and sporting a face that reflects my true feelings. Then there’s my polished persona, the one that emerges each day, carefully hiding imperfections and donning a friendly smile. This is the persona I show to the world.

Since embracing motherhood, I’ve felt a strong urge to portray myself as a more cheerful, successful individual than the one I really am behind closed doors. This disconnect has been weighing on me lately, so I want to share the contrasts between my polished persona and my authentic self:

Contrasts Between My Polished Persona and Authentic Self

  • My polished self champions a nutritious diet filled with colorful fruits, vegetables, and fancy grains I can’t even pronounce. In reality, my diet often leans heavily on chocolate, coffee, and cookies.
  • My polished self reads up on peaceful parenting and loudly proclaims my commitment to these modern techniques. But when my child throws a tantrum, my true self loses patience quickly, sounding anything but calm.
  • My polished self engages easily with other parents at the playground or at school events, appearing confident and at ease. However, my authentic self often feels awkward and out of place, reminiscent of high school days when I struggled to fit in.
  • My polished self maintains a level-headed approach to germs, remaining unfazed when my child picks up a gummy bear from the floor. Meanwhile, my true self is quietly panicking, diving into a Google rabbit hole of worst-case scenarios.
  • My polished self appears to have gracefully accepted the loss of my mother. In reality, I long for her guidance and know that no amount of time will change that ache.
  • My polished self seems to lead a rewarding life outside of parenting. In truth, I often grapple with rediscovering who I was before kids and worry about my identity as they grow older.
  • My polished self participates in enriching activities with my children, from story time at the library to arts and crafts. But often, my mind is elsewhere, caught up in the distractions of my phone and to-do lists.
  • My polished self encourages friends to be gentle with themselves regarding parenting mistakes. Yet, when it comes to my own errors, I’m quick to judge and emotionally hangover.

While it may seem easier to present an upgraded version of myself, I’m realizing that hiding my true self—flaws, awkwardness, and emotional struggles—prevents authentic connections. We’re all navigating the challenges of parenting, and the more we share our real selves, the more we’ll understand that everyone is facing their own battles.

We all crave support and understanding, both of which flourish when we embrace our authentic selves. Regardless of our differences, our love for our children is a universal truth that binds us together.

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In summary, embracing our authentic selves can lead to meaningful connections and support in the parenting community. Recognizing that we all have our own struggles allows us to navigate this journey together.

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