Let’s be honest, who hasn’t wanted to squash that pesky little spider? I mean, really—how many times is he going to crawl up that water spout? And do we really need a catchy tune for each ascent? Sure, Patty Cake has its charm, but when it comes to marking it “with a B,” I’d much rather mark it with an M for Mommy and devour it over the sink as soon as the kiddos are tucked in.
Moms, it’s high time we created our own nursery rhymes. They should be fun and relatable—unlike that bizarre tale of Hey Diddle Diddle. (Seriously, what’s with the laughing dog?) Because when you start to feel like Humpty Dumpty, you might as well laugh it off.
ONE TWO
One, two. Slip on your #%*@ shoes.
Three, four. They’re right by the door.
Five, six. What did you just lick?
Seven, eight. No snack. You just ate!
Nine, ten. Sigh. Late again.
HICKORY DICKORY
Hickory dickory dock,
Can you please stop touching your %^&*?
You went number one but now you’re all done.
Hickory dickory %^&*.
LITTLE BO PEEP
Little Bo Peep tosses and turns,
Crying is all that she learns.
Just leave her be; she’ll soon snooze,
They call it Ferberizing; no need to lose.
HERE IS THE CHURCH
This is the church, this is the steeple,
Duck down in your seat—we know all those people.
HUSH LITTLE BABY
Hush, little baby, don’t say a word,
And I’ll let you play some Angry Birds.
And if that pesky pig won’t die,
Give it to your brother—let him give it a try.
This article first appeared on July 1, 2011. Ready for more fun? Check out one of our other blog posts for more laughs and relatable content. And if you’re considering starting a family, take a look at this excellent resource for pregnancy and home insemination. Also, for those interested in at-home options, you can find reputable online retailers of insemination syringe kits here.
Summary:
Moms need nursery rhymes that resonate with their daily lives. From slipping on shoes to dealing with little ones in tears, these catchy tunes capture the humor and chaos of motherhood. It’s time to embrace the relatable struggles with a chuckle, while also exploring helpful resources and products for family planning.
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