Updated: April 11, 2023
Originally Published: April 11, 2023
After the arrival of my first child, I found myself yearning to reconnect with the person I used to be. As a new mother, I had no idea what to expect, and I felt an urgent need to return to “normal”—whatever that meant—without delay.
However, the reality hit hard; that sense of normalcy would take time (if it ever returned at all). Determined to feel like a functioning individual again, I squeezed into my jeans as soon as possible. I aimed to shower daily, put on makeup, and host visitors. During my baby’s brief naps, I diligently worked on thank-you notes for the generous gifts we received. But by the time I finished a few cards, my baby would awaken, and I was back to the relentless cycle of caring for a newborn.
Frustrated yet resolute, I pushed myself to send out those thank-you notes, believing it was a step toward regaining control over my life. I even found myself wishing that no one had gifted us anything, purely to escape the obligation of writing notes—a ridiculous thought given my genuine gratitude for every present. The pressure to respond promptly loomed large, as I feared being perceived as rude or incapable of handling the responsibilities of motherhood.
So, I sent out the thank-you notes and made a promise to myself: any baby gift I give from that moment onward would come with a clear exemption from thank-you notes. Whenever I send a gift, I now include a note requesting that the new mom skip the thank-you card. Some moms appreciate this gesture, though many adhere to the traditional etiquette and send handwritten notes, which makes me ponder whether this exemption should be more widely recognized.
Introducing the New Mom Free Pass
In fact, every baby gift ought to come with a “New Mom Free Pass.” This pass would grant the recipient guilt-free exemptions from various non-baby-related duties, such as:
- Thank-you notes of any kind; a simple text will suffice.
- Daily showers—unless someone is available to watch the baby, in which case a luxurious shower is encouraged.
- Cleaning—let the mess accumulate; it will eventually get sorted out by someone else.
- Wearing pants or a bra—this exemption could last for years.
- Hosting guests—if someone drops by to see the baby, take that opportunity to rest.
- Applying makeup or grooming—unless you feel inclined to do so.
- Shaving—realistically, such concerns can wait.
- Cooking—takeout is always an acceptable alternative.
- Grocery shopping—consider delivery services.
- Anything that doesn’t involve caring for yourself and your baby.
In essence, it’s crucial to be kind to yourself and relinquish the unrealistic expectations that come with new motherhood. You are not expected to revert to your former self; you are now a new person, a mom.
Let’s face it—new mothers perform incredible feats, from nurturing their babies to recuperating from childbirth. The last thing they need is the added guilt of sending out thank-you notes for gifts that may no longer fit. If a visitor brings a casserole but wishes to stay and meet the baby, the new mom should feel justified in taking a quick nap while they admire her little one.
The New Mom Free Pass is a gift that every new mother would surely value. It might just be worthy of a thank-you note itself.
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In summary, the journey of new motherhood is filled with challenges, but embracing the New Mom Free Pass can provide much-needed relief from societal expectations. It’s essential to prioritize self-care and acknowledge the remarkable work you are doing in nurturing your baby.