For new parents, a date night often translates to a precious exchange of resources: both time and money. Along with these, there are frequently unrealistic expectations to contend with. When you factor in the time spent preparing and traveling, as well as the mental strain of worrying about your child—who may be feeling hungry or neglected under the care of a less-than-sober babysitter—it’s no surprise that many parents find themselves longing for simpler pleasures. Sometimes, the allure of a quiet evening at home, catching up on TV shows or engaging in light-hearted internet quizzes, seems far more appealing.
Then comes the well-meaning advice: “You both should go out and have a blast! It’s a rare chance for some fun!”
In reality, my partner and I rarely ventured out before our child turned one. Once we reached that milestone, we decided to rekindle our pre-baby lifestyle with some elaborate date nights. These outings promised everything I missed over the past year: dining at establishments with cloth napkins instead of mac and cheese, enjoying live music that didn’t involve nursery rhymes, and dressing up in real clothes—perhaps even a non-nursing-friendly dress.
We even treated ourselves to a luxurious hotel stay once. However, with each experience, something felt off. I found myself calculating the cost of menu items in terms of baby supplies, realizing that a single fancy meal could equate to several packages of premium baby wipes. The loud music at concerts felt jarring, and the vibrant atmosphere often lulled me into a daze rather than invigorated me.
At one event featuring a favorite DJ from my single days, my thoughts drifted to mundane concerns like grocery coupons and whether I could sneak in a quick nap behind the bar. The mornings that followed were often filled with hangovers, financial guilt, and a nagging feeling of disappointment toward my child, my partner, and even my pre-baby self.
Have I aged two decades in just a year? After months of being in full-on parent mode, adjusting to the heightened noise levels of a bar or the discomfort of heels took time. Additionally, the constant vigilance that comes with parenthood can make it challenging to relax in a bustling public space.
I discovered that there are more gentle ways to unwind as parents. Evening walks, cozy movie nights, or a visit to a neighborhood tiki bar can provide the relief needed without the stress of an elaborate night out. Embracing these simpler moments can be beneficial for both mental and emotional well-being. As they say, baby steps are key.
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In summary, new parents may find that extravagant date nights come with more stress than joy. Embracing low-key activities can help foster connection without the weight of high expectations.