“Mom! What are you up to in there?” My four-year-old son’s voice echoed from behind the bathroom door.
“Nothing! Just… umm, nothing! I need a moment of privacy, please!”
“Then why are you on the floor with a magazine?” The door swung open, and his curious head popped in. I thought I had locked it this time.
“Just gathering ideas for our pretend café!” I replied, quickly standing and brushing off my yoga pants. “Now, let’s find those scissors!”
Of course, that was a fib. I wasn’t researching anything for our playtime. I was simply trying to escape him, as his energy was unending. Just that morning, we had read an array of books, tackled countless puzzles, and played board games until I felt as though I was losing my mind. I desperately needed a breather.
This ongoing game of hide-and-seek has been my reality since September when my older children began attending school five days a week. I’ve never experienced life with just one child, or at least I can’t recall it. My kids are 4, 5, and 6 years old, and just when I was getting accustomed to one, another would pop in and exclaim, “Want to play?”
Certainly, there are hurdles in raising three close in age. The fact that I rely on my daily dose of Zoloft to navigate grocery trips is no coincidence. However, at home, my parenting responsibilities are significantly lighter. I call them when it’s time to eat, strap on their helmets for bike rides, and I only see them again at bedtime. They collaborate on building fairy houses, scootering in the driveway, or (if we’re being honest) engaging in epic sibling battles for all the neighbors to witness while I enjoy a book on the patio.
This year is a departure from the norm. With my youngest in preschool three days a week, I now have two entire days dedicated to just me and my four-year-old, and it is all-consuming, leaving me utterly drained.
“Once we finish this stack of books, we can read the entire shelf another fifty times!”
“Absolutely, let’s play some more! Everyone knows the first 15 rounds of Uno are merely a warm-up!”
“Sure, let’s engage in ‘Mom Is a Jungle Gym’ once again!”
There is no escape, no “pause” button. He follows me through the house like a determined little lion, sensing my presence even behind closed doors.
Interestingly, many of my friends who have only one child express guilt about their decision to stop at one. They believe they have chosen the easier path.
Well, good news for parents of single children! After conducting my informal research, you can discard that guilt along with any hope of sneaking a moment of solitude in the bathroom during daylight hours.
Despite the challenges, this one-on-one time with my youngest has allowed me to genuinely connect with him as an individual, not just as the younger sibling. We complete puzzles, practice letters, and engage in uninterrupted conversations. It’s a different experience. I find myself envying those parents who have had the chance to know their only child so intimately from the beginning.
The silver lining is that this dedicated time with my son has inspired me to slow down and prioritize one-on-one moments with my other two children in the future. Not immediately, of course, but someday—once I’ve had a chance to recharge.
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In summary, while parenting an only child presents its own set of challenges, it also provides a unique opportunity for deep connection and engagement. Embracing this time can lead to a more profound understanding of each child, fostering a supportive family environment.