Recently, I found myself reflecting during a morning run about the things I wish to communicate to my partner, Jake, should I pass away first. While we’ve discussed practical matters like guardianship and financial plans, I believe there are deeper, more meaningful lessons that deserve attention. Here are nine important points I want Jake to remember:
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Engage in Open Conversations with the Kids.
It’s crucial to have ongoing discussions about topics like relationships, substance use, and personal boundaries with our children. These conversations might feel awkward, but they are necessary. Remind our kids that they can approach you anytime, regardless of the mistakes they’ve made. It’s essential to reinforce that they are safe to talk to you about anything.
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Instill Respectful Behavior.
While our children are generally well-behaved, there will be moments they act out. If a teacher or another parent brings this to your attention, take it seriously. Encourage them to remedy the situation and learn from their mistakes rather than dismissing it.
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Be Proactive and Observant.
I know you might hesitate to check in on our kids’ activities, but it’s vital to be aware of what they are up to. This means looking at their phones, checking their belongings, and being involved in their lives. Their safety is more important than their privacy, especially if there are signs of risky behavior.
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Choose Your Companions Wisely.
If you find yourself wanting to connect with someone new after I’m gone, that’s natural. However, please ensure that any new relationship respects our children and their well-being. Take your time and find someone who complements our family dynamic without overshadowing what we had.
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Let Go of My Belongings.
You don’t need to hold onto everything I owned. Moving on is part of healing, and clearing out my things can help you embrace new beginnings. Just remember, if you find unexpected purchases, they were all on sale!
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Trust Your Parenting Instincts.
Even though I might not be there, trust yourself. You’ve been a devoted parent alongside me, and you know how to guide our children. Maintaining consistent expectations will help them navigate life even in my absence.
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Prioritize Your Well-being.
It’s important to remember to care for yourself. Engaging in activities you love will not only benefit you but also our kids. They need to see you happy and fulfilled, so continue pursuing your passions.
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Maintain Your Friendships.
Your friendships are invaluable. Make time for the friends who have supported you over the years. They can provide you with comfort and companionship during tough times, helping you navigate life as a single parent.
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Keep the Joy Alive.
Remember the fun times we’ve had—dancing, exploring, and enjoying each other’s company. Maintain that spirit with our kids. Create joyful memories and perhaps even start new traditions that bring laughter and happiness into your lives.
Lastly, when it comes to my memorial, let’s skip the somber casket and flowers. A celebration in our backyard with chocolate cake and wine would be perfect.
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In summary, while I may not be physically present, I hope these messages provide guidance and comfort to Jake and our children, encouraging them to live fully and carry on with love and joy.