As I approach the final weeks of my second pregnancy, my noticeable baby bump makes it evident that I am nearing the finish line. The physical discomforts that accompany this stage—whether it’s walking, sitting, or even just breathing—are intense. It’s during this time that I hear the familiar yet insincere phrase from friends and family: “Let me know if there’s anything I can do to help!” And honestly, I call it like it is—nonsense.
Reflecting on my first pregnancy, I was initially touched by the many friends—both close and distant—who offered assistance. It felt heartwarming to think that so many cared about my transition into motherhood. However, as reality set in, I learned that many of those offers were little more than polite gestures with no real intention behind them.
While I wholeheartedly believe that a supportive community is crucial for raising children, I spent two years sorting through the genuine offers of help from the empty promises. I discovered that while some friends provided real support—like babysitting or simply being there to talk—others would often back out when I needed them the most. Cancelled playdates and unfulfilled promises from family felt like personal insults, not just to me but to my growing family.
Now, with another baby on the way, I feel wary of hearing those same phrases from people who disappointed me before. I find myself questioning the sincerity of new acquaintances who extend their hands to help. Can I rely on them? Are they being genuine?
So, I urge you: please refrain from offering help unless you genuinely mean it. If you’re just saying it to sound kind or alleviate your own guilt, you’re doing a disservice to both of us. When I do reach out, the last thing I want is for you to awkwardly back out of your earlier offer, creating discomfort for both of us.
Instead of empty phrases, consider offering a simple “Congratulations!” or “Best of luck!” These words are kind and carry no expectation of obligation. We can both go about our lives without adding unnecessary stress to the mix, and I won’t place you on my mental list of people to contact when I genuinely need support.
I’ve learned who my true support system is, and I am prepared for the challenges of motherhood. Whether it’s postpartum depression, sleepless nights, or breastfeeding issues, I have the right people to turn to. New mothers, however, may still be navigating this journey and may learn through experience just how difficult reaching out for help can be.
When a new mom approaches you during a moment of crisis, don’t shy away from stepping outside your comfort zone. Ask yourself: Will you be there when she calls? If the answer is no, then please don’t make the offer.
In conclusion, if you truly want to support a new mom, be prepared to back it up with action. If not, stick to kind words that don’t imply a promise.
For additional insights on pregnancy and home insemination, consider visiting Science Daily for excellent resources. Also, check out this blog post for more related content. If you’re looking for products to assist in the process, visit Make A Mom, an authority on home insemination supplies.
Summary
Offering help during pregnancy should come from a place of genuine intent. Empty phrases can lead to discomfort and disappointment; instead, opt for kind words that carry no obligations. True support is invaluable for new mothers navigating their journey.