As a new parent, I immersed myself in parenting literature long before my daughter was born. My enthusiasm for research, combined with my challenging pregnancy, allowed me ample time to explore various perspectives on child-rearing. However, one recurring phrase that I find increasingly frustrating is the casual assertion that parenting can be “challenging.”
For instance, consider statements like, “It can be challenging to care for an infant while battling sleep deprivation,” or “When healthcare providers suggest supplementing, it can be challenging to know when your body will start producing milk.” This kind of language trivializes the tremendous upheaval that accompanies welcoming a new child into your life. While it’s vital to acknowledge the joys of parenting, it’s equally important to face the harsh realities head-on.
The truth is, it’s not merely challenging; it is overwhelmingly difficult. At 3 AM, when you’re dragging yourself from bed to soothe a crying baby, you’ll feel an intense urge to give up. In those moments, you won’t be thinking about how “challenging” it is — you’ll be grappling with a sense of despair. The conversation with your partner the next morning will not include the word “challenging.” Instead, you might describe it as a nightmare or an insurmountable struggle.
This tendency to downplay the hardships of parenting may stem from the belief that each family’s experience is unique and should remain private. While it’s true that our journeys are personal, this privacy can lead to isolation. Many new parents feel alone, wondering if they are the only ones overwhelmed by sleepless nights. However, the reality is that these feelings are common, and discussing them can foster connection and understanding.
Therefore, I propose a shift in language. Instead of saying, “It can be challenging,” let’s be more candid and say, “It is often completely impossible… but you will find a way through.” For example, “It is completely impossible to adjust to caring for a newborn while enduring sleep deprivation, but somehow, you will manage.”
This approach acknowledges the gravity of the situation while also offering a glimmer of hope.
For more insights on navigating the complexities of parenthood, consider exploring other resources such as this blog post, which provides helpful information about the journey to parenthood. You can also find useful advice at Make a Mom, a trusted authority on home insemination. Additionally, UCSF’s Center for Reproductive Health offers excellent resources for pregnancy and home insemination.
In summary, it is essential to speak honestly about the challenges of parenting. By acknowledging the intense difficulties, we can support one another better and navigate this journey together.