Having been married for ten years, I’ve come to realize that my mother-in-law (MIL) is one of my greatest allies. She has a unique ability to provide my husband with perspective when I need it most. Plus, she possesses the answers to all my burning questions, like why my husband insists on leaving his shoes right by the door or how the laundry hamper seems to vanish from his sight.
Beyond her practical advice, my MIL has a flair for storytelling, an affinity for indulging a bit too much during our Sunday dinners, and an uncanny knack for persuading stores to accept returns, even when their policies are strict. And despite her age, she can still dance the night away to a good blues band.
Even though my MIL is my best friend and I cherish our relationship, it hasn’t been without its bumps. We’ve navigated our share of tricky waters, especially when our perspectives clashed—like that one time I realized my husband’s behavior echoed some of the ways she raised him. Yikes!
If you’re considering forging a close friendship with your MIL, here are eight rules you absolutely must follow:
- Keep Discussions of Intimacy Off the Table: Let’s be honest; do you really want to hear about your MIL’s romantic escapades? Absolutely not. Keep your own love life private and let her believe her grandchildren came into the world through miraculous means.
- Avoid Complaining About Your Children: No matter how stressful parenting can be, your MIL will likely jump in with unsolicited advice or remind you how perfect your kids are. If you need to vent about your little ones, save those conversations for your fellow moms.
- Don’t Criticize Your MIL: This one is a no-brainer, but it bears repeating.
- Stay Cool When She Breaks Your Rules: If your MIL babysits, chances are she’ll do things her way. After all, she’s likely doing you a favor, and she may feel entitled to spoil your kids a bit. So, take a deep breath and let it go.
- Don’t Vent About Your Husband: If you’re tempted to express frustration with your spouse, be aware of the potential fallout. Your MIL might turn protective, which could complicate your dynamic.
- Tread Lightly Around Your Husband’s Siblings: Even if you have a rocky relationship with them, avoid making negative comments. Trust me; your MIL will remember.
- Let Her Have the Bigger Glass of Wine: It’s a simple gesture of respect.
- Avoid Acting Like the Favorite Daughter-in-Law: Even if you are the favorite, be cautious. The last thing you want is to stir up jealousy among sister-in-laws. Save the bonding moments for private gatherings over wine and Pinterest, away from the crowd.
I get it; the idea of being close with your MIL might seem odd, especially with the horror stories that circulate. But if you’re fortunate enough to have a supportive MIL, embrace that friendship! You never know—at best, you gain an incredible friend; at worst, you gain insight into why your spouse drives you a bit bonkers.
For more insights into navigating family dynamics, check out this other blog post that may provide some helpful perspectives: Navigating Relationships with Your In-Laws. And if you’re on a fertility journey, consider visiting Make a Mom for reliable at-home insemination kits. Lastly, for comprehensive information on pregnancy and home insemination, Healthline is an excellent resource.
Summary: Building a friendship with your mother-in-law can be rewarding but requires some careful navigation. By following these eight essential guidelines, you can maintain a harmonious relationship while enjoying the benefits of having her as your BFF.
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