Why is it that the only individuals in my household capable of sleeping seem to resist it so vehemently? As bedtime approaches, I’m not the one meandering through the house, dragging my feet and dawdling around, stalling for just a few more precious minutes of wakefulness. For parents, going to bed before 10 p.m. feels like hitting the jackpot—but for my children, it’s a different story. As the hour draws near, they experience a burst of energy that rivals a Category 5 hurricane, sending toys flying off shelves and resulting in a deluge of plastic animals.
Then comes the calm before the storm: the magical moment when everything goes eerily silent. My children seem to move in slow motion, almost as if they are reversing through time. Getting them upstairs is akin to herding cattle away from a thriving pasture. After an excruciatingly lengthy routine of brushing teeth and using the restroom, sleep remains elusive. Instead, we plunge back into chaos, with the kids engaging in a series of antics, such as:
- Requesting water.
- Asking for a snack.
- sneaking out of bed to hide under the dining table.
- Appearing at my bedside and poking my eye to check if I’m awake.
- Insisting on different pajamas.
- Yelling “Mommy!” for five minutes until I finally ascend the stairs, only for them to greet me with a casual “Hi.”
- Sneaking into one another’s rooms to confirm if their sibling is asleep.
- Tattling because their sibling is still awake.
- Quietly entering our room to watch the news with us.
- Requesting yet another drink of water.
- Asking for an additional bedtime story, offering chocolate as a bribe.
- Claiming they need assistance in using the restroom, despite being fully potty trained for over two years.
- Choosing bedtime as the moment to recount their entire day’s events.
- Summoning their dad just to send him to fetch me.
- Telling me not to leave because they have something to say, which consists of a series of “uh”s followed by, “What’s your favorite color?”
- Attempting to get their own water from the kitchen because they are thirsty—again.
- Asking me to find an ancient toy from a zoo visit three summers ago.
- Crying when I refuse to search for the long-lost zoo toy.
- Chattering excitedly while I rummage through bins for the elusive toy.
- Asking for more water again.
- Reminding me that “it’s four more sleeps until Friday,” when they can have popcorn, and inquiring if we can call Grandma immediately.
- Getting out of bed to search for the cats.
- Climbing into our bed and questioning why we are sleeping.
- Wanting to know if they can play on the iPad.
- Declaring that they don’t want to sleep because they aren’t tired.
Those who have endured the challenges of toddler bedtime assure me that my children will eventually sleep, and so will I. However, I remain skeptical. After navigating the newborn stage, sick nights, teething phases, and nightmares, I had hoped we would be nearing the end of the sleepless saga. It seems we might be six years away—or perhaps even longer. While I haven’t completely lost hope, I’d wager that my chances of winning the lottery are greater at this moment.
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In summary, managing bedtime can feel like an endless battle filled with distractions and requests from children who seem to thrive in the chaos. While it may seem daunting now, with patience and persistence, a resolution may eventually arrive.