At 40 years old, I’ve never experienced an orgasm during intercourse, despite being married for 12 years and having three sexual partners. I always believed that it would eventually happen on its own. With my first boyfriend, there was no success; the same with my second partner. When I married my husband, I assumed he would be the one to help me reach that milestone. Unfortunately, that didn’t occur either.
I’ve come to realize that part of the issue lies in my expectation that my partners should intuitively know how to bring me to orgasm. I’ve taken a passive role in my own sexual experiences, believing that if my partners were skilled enough, they would take the initiative. However, I’m starting to understand that this mindset isn’t effective. Are there men out there who truly understand what it takes to help a woman achieve orgasm, even when she hasn’t learned to communicate her needs?
Reflections on Past Relationships
My first boyfriend, who was older and quite experienced, was genuinely frustrated by my inability to climax. After watching the film Don Juan DeMarco, he expressed how easy it seemed for the character, and we made a concerted effort that night, but still, nothing happened.
I enjoy sex and always have; I just can’t quite cross that finish line. When I’m alone, I can achieve orgasm almost instantly. Could my proficiency in self-pleasure be hindering my ability to climax during intercourse?
My second relationship was less open, and I sensed that he was disappointed in my inability to orgasm. In a moment of frustration, I faked an orgasm, which did not feel authentic and ultimately contributed to the end of our relationship.
Finding Compromise with My Husband
Then I met my husband. We’ve shared a lot of fun in the bedroom, and I’ve been more honest with him than anyone else. Although we’ve explored various techniques, I still haven’t reached orgasm during penetration. We’ve attempted to address this “issue,” but I explained that the pressure to perform only distances me from enjoying our intimacy. Instead, we found a compromise: I engage in masturbation while we have sex, but achieving an orgasm through penetration alone remains elusive.
A New Commitment
Now, I’m determined to change this narrative. I want to prioritize my sexual fulfillment as much as my husband’s. This year is going to be different; we’re committed to finding time to explore new techniques.
I deserve to experience orgasm during sex just like he does, and it’s my responsibility to pursue it actively. This journey is crucial, not just for my pleasure but also for my overall sexual health. For more insights on topics related to home insemination, you can check out this article on intracervicalinsemination.com. Additionally, for authoritative guidance, visit MakeAMom and explore their resources. If you’re interested in understanding more about pregnancy and home insemination, Healthline offers excellent information.
Conclusion
In summary, I’m committed to discovering my ability to orgasm during sexual intercourse. I’ve acknowledged my past failures and am ready to actively seek fulfillment, ensuring that my sexual health is prioritized alongside my husband’s.