Dear Beloved Second Child,
As the time of your arrival approached, I found myself reflecting on my experiences with family and friends, reminiscing about the joy of welcoming a little one into our lives. I feared that becoming a mother of two would lead to isolation, as if we would retreat into our home, shunning the outside world. While it certainly has been a challenge to navigate life with two children, we’ve quickly adapted, and we do manage to venture out—mostly for essentials like diaper cream and pain relievers, but we do get out.
However, I recognize that I have made some parenting decisions with you that differ greatly from those I made with your older sibling. Thus, I felt it necessary to express my thoughts in this letter, hoping you will understand that I am aware of my shortcomings. Please read on, knowing that you are deeply loved.
I apologize for the time I accidentally let you tumble off my chest while you were peacefully sleeping. It was a crowded bed that night—your father was on one side, and your brother crawled in and pushed me to the edge. I was exhausted from a long night of nursing you. And yes, you did have a brief cry, but then you broke into a smile. I think I was the one who needed more comfort after that incident!
I regret that I don’t have as many details documented about you as I do for your brother. His baby book is filled with notes about every little milestone, while yours might simply read, “Place photo here.” Just today, I turned around to find you standing up, holding onto the Swiffer for balance, and I was astounded—my little tightrope walker! While I may have neglected to record those moments, I want you to know I was busy cherishing each one.
I apologize for the less-than-ideal experiences you’ve had with your brother. He might have unintentionally peed on you during bath time—specifically on your arm. He often seems oblivious to your presence, often running into you or taking toys right out of your hands. Yet, despite his antics, you laugh and follow him wherever he goes. I intervene when necessary, encouraging him to be gentle with you, but I can see that you are the resilient one.
I also regret that your wardrobe mainly consists of your brother’s hand-me-downs. While he had a closet full of brand new outfits, you often sport mismatched clothing that makes you look like a candidate for “What Not To Wear.” Getting two kids ready to go out is akin to a chaotic scavenger hunt, but we do make it to our destinations, even if you sometimes look a little worse for wear. If “hobo baby” ever becomes a trend, you will surely lead the way!
Moreover, I want to clarify that my love for you is just as profound as my love for your brother. Unfortunately, you may hear people claim that the second child receives less affection, but that is a misconception. From the moment you were placed on my chest, I felt a love so strong it was almost overwhelming. I would sacrifice anything for you both, and my love for you is unwavering.
While I may have dropped you at times, forgotten to document your milestones, or let some pee fly, I have also poured my heart into loving you. You will never hear an apology for that love.
With all my affection,
Mom