Recently, a friend shared her outrage over a comment on her friend Jenna’s Facebook post. I was taken aback when I read the forwarded message:
“Sorry to hear your child is intellectually challenged, but God has a plan. 🙂 Enjoy.”
My heart sank. I was immediately reminded of the first time I encountered such a demeaning word. A young boy named Jacob stood isolated under the jungle gym, encircled by peers who were throwing pebbles at him and hurling insults. The chant of “Idiot, Idiot” rang out across the playground.
I was only 6 years old at that time, and I didn’t grasp the gravity of the situation. I returned home, chanting, “Idiot, Idiot. Jacob is an idiot.” My normally gentle mother turned to me in anger. “What did you just say?” she demanded.
I couldn’t comprehend her outrage. “Idiot. There was an idiot on the playground,” I explained.
“Don’t use that word. It’s a very hurtful term,” she said, lowering herself to my level. I felt small under her intense gaze. “He’s a person with a name. It’s Jacob.”
My mother’s words resonated in my mind as I envisioned Jenna’s lovely little boy in a similar plight. His tousled hair dirty and his bright eyes filled with tears, as a group of children tormented him for being unique. Is this his fate?
Jenna’s son has a name. His name is Ethan, and he is just 5 years old. He has autism, but he embodies so much more than that label. Ethan loves video games and is an exceptional builder with blocks. He has a natural affinity for numbers and shows great potential as a future engineer. He notices when his mother is down and comforts her with declarations of love.
Ethan. His name is Ethan.
Those who casually toss around the term “idiot” often hide behind the notion of “free speech.” They might argue, “What’s the issue? It’s just a word. Idiot. Don’t be so sensitive. It was just a joke.” But there is nothing amusing about the boy on the playground—standing alone, encircled by onlookers, like a spectacle at a circus, mocked and humiliated. No one deserves to be treated this way, especially not a child, and certainly not by an adult who should know better.
I refuse to allow Ethan or any other child to endure suffering for their differences. While I didn’t help Jacob back then, I can make a difference now. We all can. We can be mindful of our words and choose not to be bystanders.
The Movement to End the R-Word
There is a movement called “R-Word: Spread the Word to End the Word,” which aims to abolish the derogatory use of the R-word for several vital reasons:
- The R-word ISOLATES individuals with cognitive differences, suggesting they are less deserving of inclusion alongside others, which is utterly unfounded.
- The R-word DEHUMANIZES those with cognitive disabilities. It is far easier to bully someone who lacks the dignity of being recognized as a person.
- The R-word HURTS individuals with cognitive differences. It implies that anyone with an intellectual or developmental disability is devoid of value, which is preposterous. So why perpetuate its use?
Visitors to the R-word site can pledge: “I commit to eliminating the derogatory use of the R-word from everyday language and promoting acceptance and inclusion of individuals with intellectual disabilities.” My choice is clear. I support Ethan and Jacob. I made this pledge the day I completed this piece. What about you?
March 2 marks the day of awareness for the Spread the Word to End the Word initiative. Visit www.r-word.org to pledge against using the R-word.
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In summary, the use of derogatory terms like the R-word has far-reaching consequences that affect the lives of those with cognitive differences. It is imperative that we choose our language carefully and advocate for kindness and respect.