As the youngest in the family, you hold a special place in my heart. You’re the baby of the group, and that status comes with certain perks. Forever, you will be seen as too little, too cute, or simply too precious for us to rush your growth. We’ll encourage you to mispronounce words because it’s adorable, and we’ll create playful code words for things so you don’t realize that “spicy” actually refers to the dessert we’re reluctant to share. We might even shower you with toys and activities that cater to your babyish charm because, quite frankly, we’re not ready to say goodbye to these delightful early years.
However, these moments are not the reason I’m putting off potty training you just yet.
You see, my dear, I’ve already navigated the tumultuous waters of potty training with your siblings. Your sister and brothers certainly put me through my paces. Here are 15 reasons why I’m hitting the pause button on this process:
- The persistent challenge of keeping underwear on.
- The madness of preventing my boys from constantly fiddling with their private parts.
- The ongoing checks to decipher whether that noise was a harmless fart or something more serious.
- The unfortunate pee dribbles that seem to appear everywhere.
- The inevitable stained mattresses that come with the territory.
- The overwhelming mountain of dirty laundry that never seems to shrink.
- The splatters on the bathroom walls that are less than pleasant.
- The unmistakable odor of urine that seems to cling to every bathroom because every toilet must be tested multiple times a day—except, of course, when the faucet is running.
- The need for frequent handwashing, which often leads to accidental skin contact between big momma hands and tiny toddler bottoms.
- The mess that comes from washing hands after those “cleaning” attempts.
- The nightly disputes over how much liquid is acceptable before bedtime.
- The midnight wake-ups that occur even after just a tiny sip of water.
- The sheer terror expressed over public restroom facilities.
- The wet car seats that result from unexpected accidents.
- The perpetual state of needing to remain vigilant about potty-related matters.
I will certainly assist you with wiping and take you to the restroom when you request it. However, I have more pressing tasks to attend to than asking if you need to use the toilet every ten minutes to prevent any mishaps on the carpet. The diaper bag is meant for diapers only, and it will retire when the time is right. I refuse to make it a makeshift emergency clothing bag due to my eagerness to transition you out of Pull-Ups. That bag has seen better days and deserves a break in the backseat of the car, where it might be used just once a week before heading off to the donation bin.
I’ve embraced a relaxed approach to parenting that simply doesn’t align with the demands of potty training at this stage. If you feel the urge and can’t manage your pants, just go ahead and use the diaper. At 2 years old, you still have time before mastering the art of using the toilet. My to-do list is extensive enough without dedicating countless hours to monitor you as you attempt to trickle a few drops into the bowl, fend off the urge to use an excessive amount of toilet paper, rewind it onto the roll, and then chase you down to wash your hands and put your underwear back on, only to repeat the process in a matter of minutes and later discover an unfortunate surprise behind the stove.
So, I’m stepping back from this one. You’ll be ready by kindergarten, I’m confident of that. If not, well, perhaps your father will step in to handle the potty training.
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In summary, while potty training is an important milestone, I’m choosing to delay this process for my youngest child to embrace a more relaxed parenting approach, allowing for a more manageable daily routine.