During a candid conversation with a friend, who held a prominent position at a high-profile advertising agency, I found myself reflecting on the daily realities of our lives. While he was known as the “Chief of Creative Synergistic Brand Relations,” I was a stay-at-home mom navigating the chaos of domestic life. When I inquired about his daily tasks, he explained that he “directs creative branded cross-advertorial relationships.”
Curious, I pressed further. “What does that mean in practical terms?” I asked.
“I manage a lot of emails,” he replied, slightly impatient.
“And what about you?” he countered.
“I wipe things,” I responded.
Motherhood encompasses various titles: homemaker, domestic engineer, working mother, stay-at-home mom, and more. Regardless of the title, the core responsibilities often boil down to a lot of cleaning.
To be fair, it’s not solely about wiping. I engage in scraping, scrubbing, folding, and sweeping. Essentially, if we break down the daily tasks, one could argue that I am functioning primarily as a cleaning service.
This becomes an issue because cleaning is not my preferred activity. I find little joy in chores that require constant repetition, such as washing dishes, doing laundry, or tidying up the living room. Sometimes, while showering, I catch myself thinking, “Didn’t I just do this yesterday?”
When you welcome a baby into your life, many aspects can be shocking: the intensity of labor, the financial strain of childcare, and the unsolicited advice about dressing your baby appropriately, even in mild weather. However, what truly caught me off guard, and what no one prepared me for, was the exponential increase in cleaning. The mess seems to multiply—what was once manageable becomes overwhelming.
Before kids, my husband and I approached chores with a laid-back attitude, handling only a few dishes and vacuuming sporadically. However, after having children, a single meal can feel like a disaster zone. After breakfast, it appears as though a battle occurred, with crumbs and spills everywhere. It’s common to use multiple plates, cutting boards, and utensils for just one meal.
Dishes accumulate rapidly, resembling a conveyor belt of chaos. In the early days of my role as a stay-at-home mom, I often joked that if Sisyphus had a wife, she would be “Dishyphus,” endlessly battling the mountain of dirty dishes while he garnered accolades in the corporate world. This often left me in tears and prompted my wise husband to suggest we reconsider how we divided household duties.
Despite our joint efforts, the chores remain relentless. It takes both of us nearly all day to restore order in our home. Children leave behind bits of paper that are too small to pick up by hand but too large for the vacuum, scribble on walls, and create messes in places you wouldn’t expect.
As night falls, my exhausted husband often places a pot of leftover sauce in the fridge, convinced he’ll use it again, when in reality, it becomes a breeding ground for mold. The clutter of shoes, bags, and coats creates a trail from the front door down the hallway, and I find myself kicking them aside, tired of reminding the kids to put their things away.
In a perfect world, hospitals would provide new mothers with microfiber cloths, rags, and paper towels alongside their newborns. They should offer a crash course in housekeeping, emphasizing that while breastfeeding and diaper changes may be temporary, the endless cycle of cleaning is a permanent aspect of motherhood.
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In summary, the reality of motherhood encompasses more than just nurturing children; it involves an immense amount of cleaning and maintaining order in a chaotic environment. While the joys of parenthood are plentiful, the unending cleaning responsibilities are often overlooked and can be overwhelming.