As a parent, my primary objective is to ensure the well-being and development of my children, encompassing everything from their nutrition to advocating on their behalf when they feel overwhelmed. However, there are certain things I refuse to do simply because they want them. My goal is to raise independent, respectful, and self-sufficient individuals who can coexist harmoniously in society. Here are 20 things I will not do for my kids:
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Prepare Multiple Dinners
In our household, dinner is whatever I or my partner decides to make. Unless there’s a medical reason or genuine dislike after trying something, I won’t create separate meals because they find the vegetables too green or the pasta too “pasta-y.” -
Yield to Whining
We must understand that kindness and responsibility earn rewards, not behaving like spoiled children. While I won’t deny them joys, I also won’t encourage bad behavior. -
Complete Their Homework
Having been through school myself, I will guide my children with their assignments but will not do the work for them. Learning from mistakes is crucial for growth and accomplishment. -
Replace Damaged Toys
If a cherished toy is accidentally broken? Sure, I’ll consider a replacement. However, if it’s damaged due to negligence, that’s a different story. Toys are an expense, and they won’t grow on trees. -
Buy Every Trendy Gadget
My mother always reminded me, “I’m not your friend’s parent.” Just because their peers have the latest gadgets doesn’t mean they will, especially if they’re unnecessary and overpriced. -
Allow Excessive Screen Time
While I believe in balancing screen time, I won’t allow my kids to turn into couch potatoes glued to the screens all day. They need to learn when it’s time for activity versus relaxation. -
Find Lost Items
Kids, use your eyes! If you can’t locate something, it’s likely right before you. As my grandmother used to say, if it were a snake, it would’ve bitten you. -
Clean Up After Them
I’m Mom, not a maid. I will assist when needed, but I refuse to spend my life cleaning up after my children. They will learn to take responsibility for their spaces. -
Drive Them to School
There’s a perfectly functional school bus that serves our neighborhood. It’s not glamorous, but learning to ride it is part of growing up. -
Purchase Designer Clothing
I don’t buy designer clothes for myself, so why would I do that for my kids? They can save their own money, and I’ll happily split the cost for something they want. -
Fight Their Battles
If they encounter issues with teachers or peers, they need to learn to advocate for themselves. I’ll be there for support, but they must learn to navigate conflicts. -
Continuously Deliver Forgotten Items
I’m willing to help occasionally if something is genuinely forgotten, but if this becomes a pattern, they need to face the consequences. Responsibility is essential. -
Attend Job Interviews with Them
I’ve heard of parents accompanying their kids to job interviews, and I firmly disagree with that. They need to step into adulthood independently. -
Act as Their Personal ATM
I’m willing to contribute to outings once in a while, but I won’t be their perpetual source of cash. They need to understand the value of earning money. -
Gift Brand New Cars for Milestones
I haven’t had a new car in years, so I won’t buy one just because they turn 16. I’ll help with a used vehicle if they contribute as well. -
Permit Solo Spring Break Trips
While some parents allow this, my experiences warn me against it. I’d prefer my kids stay home rather than face potential risks. -
Allow Sleepovers on School Nights
As a child, I resented my parents for this rule, but now I see its wisdom. Weeknights are for rest and preparation for the next day. -
Let Partners Stay Overnight
I’m not naive, and I’m not ready for grandparenthood just yet. -
Host Parties with Alcohol
My role as a parent is to instill responsibility, not to facilitate underage drinking. My home will remain a sober environment for the time being. -
Allow All-Nighters Out
Not every parent shares the same rules, but I will maintain my stance on this.
These boundaries I set are not intended to be punitive but rather to guide my children towards becoming accountable adults who respect themselves and others. This, I believe, is the ultimate goal of parenting.
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Summary
This article outlines the 20 things a parent will not do for their children to foster independence, responsibility, and self-sufficiency. By setting these boundaries, the aim is to guide children toward becoming respectful adults, understanding the value of hard work and personal accountability.