Valentine’s Day, a holiday often celebrated with romantic gestures and gifts, takes on an entirely different meaning when you are a single mother. For many, including myself, it’s less about roses and chocolates and more about the hustle and bustle of preparing for the day.
As a single mom, my Valentine’s Day often involves a last-minute dash to the store on February 13th. I sift through the discount bin at Target, looking for acceptable cards for my child’s classmates. Once I find a few that aren’t too cringe-worthy, I spend the evening painstakingly cramming Pop Rocks and Sweet Tarts into tiny envelopes. Meanwhile, I send a frantic email to my child’s teacher at 9 p.m. to request the class list, as I can only recall five out of the twenty-three students. Once the valentines are ready, I inevitably turn to Pinterest in search of a “healthy” snack that will please both parents and kids alike. The end result is often a fruit sculpture that looks deceptively simple but ends up taking hours to assemble—think ladybugs crafted from chocolate-covered clementines or heart-shaped watermelon with grape cupids. Yes, this is the reality I face on a day that is traditionally meant for love and romance.
Being a single mother means that holidays are redefined. My child’s teacher effectively takes on the role of the other parent, sending home handmade cards and adorable crafts for every public school holiday. Without the macaroni hearts or handprint turkeys, my refrigerator would be devoid of any festive spirit, and my heart would feel a bit emptier.
I am content with my current situation. At this stage in my life, I lack the time to pursue a romantic relationship. While I am certainly not unappealing or lacking in confidence, the thought of dating feels as futile as finding a lost Barbie shoe at the bottom of a toy box. Someday, I might consider going on a date on February 14th, but for now, I would be the most distracted date imaginable.
Instead of booking a romantic dinner or shopping for the perfect dress, I will be picking up my sugar-crazed child from school. Her face will be adorned with a bright pink frosting mustache, and for the next few hours, she will be on a sugar high, bouncing off the walls and begging for just one more gummy heart. I’ll gently wipe away the frosting and remind her to take things one day at a time.
While others share sweet messages on social media about their partners, I will glance over at my child, who, after the sugar rush and a possible bout of nausea, has finally succumbed to sleep. And in that moment, I realize that I have never cherished a valentine more.
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In summary, Valentine’s Day for a single mother is a whirlwind of activities centered around children rather than traditional romance. It is a day filled with love for one’s child, framed by the unique challenges and joys of solo parenting.