Today was a memorable day—one that will linger in my mind for years to come, filled with both challenges and insights.
It all commenced around 5:30 a.m., when my spirited three-year-old, whom I affectionately call Bella, woke up far too early. Having recently been unwell, she expressed a keen desire to color, which led to our first skirmish of the day. It was astonishing how, even before the sun had fully risen and without having my morning coffee, I found myself in a battle over crayons.
“They’re right in front of you on the table, sweetheart!” I urged. Bella responded with a whiny tone that was almost unbearable, “But my legs are soooo tired. Can’t you bring them to me?” My instinct was to say no. Why not reach for them herself?
After a lengthy twenty minutes of her tantrum, I remained resolute and ignored the outburst. It was a liberating experience to not react to her pulling at my shirt. It was ironic that she had the energy to yell but not to reach for the crayons.
Next, my six-year-old, Lily, joined the scene with her own mood. She was anxious, fearing that I might leave for a vacation. My mother, who usually looks after the girls, had been hospitalized due to pneumonia, creating uncertainty that weighed heavily on our sensitive child. “I don’t want you to go. I just want to stay with you all day!” she cried.
After breakfast, I could sense another meltdown brewing. Her frustration escalated over the outfit I chose, the braids I tied, and even the natural process of using the restroom. “Why aren’t you helping me get it out?!” she yelled.
In my most soothing voice, I replied, “I’m sorry, sweetheart! Just take deep breaths and push. Did that help?”
“I’m not going to camp!” she shouted back. Understanding her anxiety, I attempted to provide reassurance through positive self-talk. But soon, I too needed a moment of calm. I whispered a prayer, asking for the strength to remain composed.
Then, as I handed her apple juice with probiotics to ease her discomfort, she knocked it from my hands. Anger surged within me, and I felt the urge to shout “No!” but instead, I took a deep breath and spoke through clenched teeth. “I know you’re feeling overwhelmed, and that’s okay. But it’s not acceptable to act out. Please clean this up and get dressed.”
Just hours before, I had made the difficult decision to cancel a planned trip with my husband, which was meant to be our first getaway in nearly two years. Guilt washed over me, and I feared that my children would be unhappy without my mom’s support. Yet, their behavior reminded me of the importance of self-care and the necessity of taking breaks.
In the end, Lily attended art camp, albeit reluctantly, and surprisingly had a wonderful day. I gleaned valuable lessons from this morning’s chaos. Despite their crankiness, they cannot dictate my emotional state unless I allow it. Change can be tough, but it’s essential for growth. It’s crucial to recognize that parents can’t be present every moment, and that’s perfectly normal.
Our trip may be postponed, and my dreams of a carefree vacation will need to wait. However, I now possess a renewed strategy for handling their outbursts and a determination to prioritize my well-being.
Hopefully, I can recall these lessons the next time they test my patience, which is likely to be at breakfast tomorrow when I serve pancakes instead of waffles.
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Summary
This article discusses the challenges of navigating tantrums with children, highlighting the importance of parental composure and the necessity of self-care. Despite the chaos, valuable lessons emerge about coping with emotional outbursts and the significance of creating a supportive environment for both children and parents.