When navigating the challenging landscape of infant sleep, caregivers often find themselves inundated with unsolicited advice from well-meaning friends and family. While most would prefer a little quiet time rather than endless tips, the desire for rest compels them to explore every suggestion. Over time, the frustration mounts, leading to exclamations akin to, “No! He won’t sleep in a box, he won’t sleep with a fox, he won’t sleep in a house, he won’t sleep with a mouse—he just won’t sleep at all!”
Here’s a non-exhaustive list of strategies that are unlikely to help your baby sleep through the night—non-exhaustive because, quite frankly, I’m too fatigued to add more:
- Swaddling
- Not swaddling
- Pacifiers
- Rocking to sleep
- Not rocking to sleep
- Dream feeds
- Skipping dream feeds
- Drowsy but awake, also known as, “I’m drowsy, but if you dare set me down while I’m still awake, prepare for an hour of screaming.”
- A calming bath
- An uncalming bath where an older sibling soaks the baby
- Room sharing
- Bed sharing
- Cry it out
- Bed sharing after cry-it-out attempts have failed
- Lavender room spray
- Accidentally spilling lavender oil and turning your home into a French bordello for a week
- Singing lullabies
- Background noise at acceptable levels
- White noise
- Perfect silence
- Neighbors slamming car doors
- Nursing to sleep
- Not nursing to sleep
- Cry it out again
- Any parenting book or website ever created
- Homeopathic teething solutions
- Allowing baby to nap on demand
- Following a strict two-nap routine
- Skipping naps
- Naps in cars, strollers, cribs, or while holding the baby until your arm goes numb
- A robust bedtime routine
- Going to bed on time, early, or late
- Waking up early or sleeping in (just kidding—that’s a fantasy)
- Fairy sleep dust made from ground unicorn horns purchased in bulk
- Cotton pajamas
- Fleece pajamas
- Sleep sacks
- Warm blankets
- Light blankets
- No blankets
- A new crib mattress
- The alignment of the stars
- Rushing to comfort as soon as the baby whimpers
- Waiting 5 to 10 minutes to gauge if the baby will self-soothe
- Night-weaning
- Crying it out a third time
- Not retrieving the pacifier once it has been tossed
- Returning the pacifier an hour later
- Bargaining with a higher power
- Trying to reason with your child using logic
- Offering cash to the little one
As you sift through sleep advice, one common theme emerges: time. In nearly every success story, the key factor is simply that the baby matures and begins to sleep through the night. Yours will too, at which point you’ll find yourself joining a clandestine group of parents allowed to tell exhausted mothers, “Enjoy it! It all passes so quickly!” Until that moment arrives, continue to push through. Your baby will eventually sleep—every parent can dream, right? Or at least daydream.
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Summary:
Navigating your baby’s sleep challenges often leads to a multitude of ineffective strategies. Suggestions include swaddling, various sleep aids, and different routines, yet most parents find that time is the key ingredient in achieving restful nights. Don’t lose hope—eventually, your little one will learn to sleep through the night.