“Life can be quite challenging, can’t it?” my friend Jessica texted me last week.
“Absolutely,” I replied.
We were attempting to coordinate a get-together for the upcoming weekend, but as usual, our children’s activities, travel plans, and other commitments were proving to be obstacles. I miss Jessica, and it’s clear she feels the same. It’s disappointing—some days are just hard.
This morning, I woke up to a leaking bathroom sink, a shower door that had come off its hinges, and one of my dogs had a little accident on my son’s piano book. To top it all off, the other dog (or perhaps the same one?) left a mess all over the living room, dining room, kitchen, and family room. Our morning was a whirlwind of frantic school drop-offs and rushed farewells. I’ve felt on the brink of tears all day for reasons I can’t quite grasp. Today was tough.
“Parenting is a struggle,” my friend Alex texted later. “I feel like I’ve jumped off a parenting cliff without any plan.”
“I relate to that feeling almost every day,” I replied.
The relentless doubts and questions can be overwhelming. Are they getting enough rest? Are we reading enough together? How old is too old for a security blanket and thumb-sucking? Should I allow my son to play football? Are they involved in too many extracurricular activities or not enough? With every phase and new question, I often feel like I’m teetering on the edge of a cliff, unsure of how to navigate these challenges. Parenting can be really hard at times.
Life is full of challenges. Parenting, friendships, relationships, and work—they all require effort. Sometimes it all feels like a struggle.
I recognize that openly admitting life is tough can be a controversial statement. It’s not something we like to say. We prefer to present life as good and fine. It’s easier to discuss hardships after we’ve emerged from them. We share stories of struggle only once we’ve found our way back to the light.
This tendency to reflect on hardships from a retrospective view frustrates me, especially in creative writing. We often recount our struggles only after they’ve been overcome. We proclaim our “Hallelujahs!” after being lost and then found.
But what about when we’re still in the thick of it? What about the days we’re overwhelmed, still carrying our burdens? Where are the “me too” stories during those times?
When I find myself in the depths of doubt, fear, and despair, I often succumb to the most misleading thought: “It’s just you. You’re alone. No one else could possibly understand.”
Some of life’s most meaningful experiences are also the hardest. Parenting is incredibly challenging. Maintaining a marriage can be complex, especially when raising young children. Nurturing friendships can be inconvenient, especially when distance is involved. Simply being an adult can be exhausting.
The reality is that some of the most beautiful parts of life—parenting, marriage, and friendship—have their gritty side. Ignoring this truth does not lessen their beauty or significance. Acknowledging the hard and messy aspects of life doesn’t diminish its overall beauty; in fact, it adds depth.
Every day, I’m reminded of how rich and lovely life can be, even on the tough days. I’m grateful for my children, even when parenting feels like navigating a minefield. I appreciate my husband, family, and friends, despite the obstacles that life throws at us. We sometimes struggle to express our love amid the chaos.
Tonight, Jessica and I were discussing the possibility of meeting up. Being about 1,000 miles apart, along with our busy lives, makes it increasingly challenging. We both agreed that life can be exceptionally tough at times, and admitting it can be hard while we’re living through it. We entertained the idea of planning a girls’ weekend soon.
“Noodle salad!” I texted back, referencing a line from the film As Good as It Gets. In the movie, Jack Nicholson’s character laments, “Some of us have great stories, pretty stories that take place at lakes with boats and friends and noodle salad. Just no one in this car.” We watched that film nearly two decades ago at my grandparents’ lake house. There were boats, friends, and of course, noodle salad. Good times.
The bottom line is that sometimes everything feels hard. Life has its ups and downs; some days are filled with beautiful moments while others are just plain tough. Most often, it’s a mix of both, because the things that matter most are usually a blend of hard and good.
Perhaps the secret lies in creating joyful moments even when we feel like we’re on the brink of falling or wandering through the wilderness. Maybe it’s about enjoying that noodle salad, even if it’s slathered in mayo and overcooked while the kids scream about wanting pizza. And by “noodle salad,” I’m really referring to indulging in cookie dough and wine while texting a friend about how overwhelming life can be.
For more insights on navigating the complexities of parenting, check out this post on the universal truths of parenting. Also, if you’re looking for supplies for at-home insemination, visit Make A Mom, a trusted source for insemination kits. Additionally, for more information on pregnancy and home insemination, the NICHD is an excellent resource.
Summary
Parenting can be a challenging journey, filled with moments of doubt and struggle. Yet, amid these difficulties, there is beauty and richness in life. Acknowledging the hard times does not lessen the joys we experience but rather adds depth to our stories. It’s essential to create joyful moments even when life feels overwhelming and to remember that we’re not alone in our challenges.
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