As you navigate through your early childhood, approaching your ninth birthday and still very much a little girl in the third grade, I find it necessary to address a significant topic that transcends the simple joys of childhood. While I will eventually write you a letter about the remarkable woman I envision you becoming, today’s conversation is about something different—something a bit more challenging.
This isn’t about the “birds and the bees” talk; that will come in due time. Instead, I want to discuss the concept of respect in sports and the behavior of individuals who, quite frankly, are not setting a good example.
Reflecting on Last Fall’s Volleyball Season
Do you recall the volleyball season last fall when I coached your team? Specifically, do you remember the coach from the opposing team who displayed a complete lack of sportsmanship?
That’s the behavior we need to address.
You might have forgotten the details, but I certainly haven’t. His disdain for the referee was apparent—he openly disrespected her authority with rude comments and exaggerated gestures, attempting to undermine her decisions. His actions encouraged his players and their parents to mock the referee whenever a call went our way. You even asked me why he was so unkind, and that question has lingered in my mind.
The Importance of Good Sportsmanship
Having participated in sports for most of my life—from dance to softball to volleyball—I’ve seen many coaching styles. I’ve coached at various levels, including youth and competitive teams, and I can confidently say that his approach was fundamentally flawed.
The essence of team sports is rooted in good sportsmanship. At your age, it’s essential to learn about fairness, respect, and cooperation, alongside the skills of the game—like passing, serving, and working as a cohesive unit.
Now, let me clarify: acknowledging fairness and teamwork does not mean disregarding competition. It’s crucial to understand that winning isn’t everything. Experiencing loss is a vital part of growth; learning to accept defeat gracefully is one of the key lessons from youth sports.
Respecting Everyone Involved
Respecting everyone involved in the game—coaches, teammates, and referees—is a fundamental aspect of sportsmanship. Referees are there to facilitate the game, not to make anyone look good. Without them, we wouldn’t have a structured sport; it would merely be practice. The role of a referee deserves respect from everyone involved, including coaches and parents.
When a coach constantly yells at a referee, it sends a clear message: winning trumps the values of respect and kindness. This behavior teaches children that it’s acceptable to undermine authority figures, which is entirely inappropriate.
As you grow and face more complex games, the referees will evolve too, becoming knowledgeable facilitators rather than mere volunteers. Sportsmanship will remain crucial, regardless of how sophisticated the game becomes.
A Lesson in Perspective
For now, let’s consider the referee who dedicates her time on a Saturday to allow young players like you to enjoy volleyball. It’s only fair to give her the benefit of the doubt. There are no championships at stake, no scholarships on the line, and no reason to escalate tensions over a missed call.
It all boils down to perspective, sweetheart. Keep that in mind.
As time has passed since that game, I won’t remind you of the outcome. Truth be told, only someone lacking perspective would focus on the win/loss record of a group of eight-year-olds.
With love,
Mom
In Summary
This letter serves as a reminder of the importance of sportsmanship and respect in youth sports. It highlights the negative impact of poor behavior from coaches and emphasizes the lessons of fairness and kindness that are vital for personal growth. As you continue to engage in sports and other activities, always remember that respect for others is paramount.