In the early years of motherhood, when I was navigating life with an infant nestled in a front carrier and two more toddlers in a double stroller, I would often encounter older mothers who would gaze at us wistfully. “Oh, I miss those days. Savor every moment! They grow up so fast!” they would exclaim with a hint of nostalgia in their eyes.
While I understood their sentiment, it felt as if their words were echoes from a distant past that I was too immersed in the present to grasp fully. Of course, children grow up; that is an undeniable truth. But in the thick of sleepless nights and endless diaper changes, it was hard to envision a time when my little ones wouldn’t need me so desperately.
From the moment my oldest was born, he was utterly reliant on me. At just five days old, he would search for me at the sound of my voice, crying out until he could see me. His need for my presence was so profound that my husband had to hold him up just to catch a glimpse of me behind the shower curtain during one of my rare attempts at self-care.
In a moment of desperation for both my sanity and my husband’s, I purchased a see-through shower curtain, allowing my little one to see me at all times, as if my very existence was crucial to his survival. Our lives were intertwined in a way that blurred the lines of individuality; at three years old, when I’d ask what he wanted for lunch, his response was always, “Whatever Mama is having!” I was submerged in the beautiful chaos of motherhood, torn between profound love and the overwhelming fear of losing this connection.
I wasn’t aware then of the fleeting nature of these early years. Just like his habit of sucking his thumb or the numerous tumbles he took off chairs, I assumed these moments would be permanent. But life is ever-changing, and while it’s easy to see other children growing up, it’s nearly impossible to picture it happening to your own.
The day my baby, who once believed that I was his sole source of sustenance, left for college, I realized I was the one gasping for air. The memories of holding him close are some of my most treasured, yet they slipped away more quickly than I could have imagined. Childhood is a transient phase, and before you know it, you’re standing in front of a young adult, arms raised as you help them with their graduation cap.
The days passed in a blur; children grow not gradually, but all at once. You go from fastening a size 2T onesie to standing beside your almost six-foot-tall child, handing them the car keys. Childhood can feel endless, yet it is undeniably temporary.
To the older mothers who once reminded me of the swift passage of time, I heard you. But how could I convey that, while your words are well-meaning, they often feel distant and irrelevant when you are knee-deep in the trials of early parenting? It’s only when you reach the end of this journey that you can truly reflect on how far you’ve come.
In those exhausting days, when you crave a moment of solitude, it’s hard to believe that one day, your baby will no longer need you in the same way. If someone had told me that my 20-pound baby would one day stand nearly six feet tall and drive off to college, I would have dismissed it as absurd. Surely, my child would always need me in his line of sight.
If I could offer any advice to new parents, it would be this: Embrace the joy when you can, allow yourself to cry when necessary, and remember that each phase is a vital part of your unique journey. You don’t need me to remind you to cherish these moments—I trust you are already doing so in your own way.
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Summary
The journey of motherhood is a fleeting experience filled with both joy and challenges. As children grow up faster than you may expect, it is crucial to cherish every moment while recognizing that these early years, though demanding, are an integral part of your life’s journey.