You can deck your little ones out in the cutest outfits, place them in perfect lighting, and wield an impressive camera. You could even collect a treasure trove of creative props and scout picturesque locations while memorizing a plethora of adorable poses from Pinterest. Yet, when it comes to snapping a family photo of your kids, it can feel like a total gamble (no pun intended!). It’s easy to see why professional photographers are in high demand; capturing a group of kids is often as pointless as trying to understand why some people think pineapple belongs on pizza. For the untrained, photographing kids is mostly a recipe for chaos, typically unfolding in four stages…
Phase One: Hopeful Beginnings
You kick things off with optimism. Just look at them! Those charming outfits and tidy hair make for the perfect photo opportunity. You imagine the likes on Instagram skyrocketing or envision a stunning new Facebook cover photo. You call the kids over, cheerfully arranging them, even if their enthusiasm seems lacking. You’re convinced that your excitement will inspire their smiles, and when they hold the pose, you think, “This is going to be the best picture ever!”
Phase Two: Harsh Reality
As you prompt them to smile, the first hurdle appears: one or more of them is making that infamous “picture face.” You know the one – a bizarre mix of an over-the-top grin and a look of sheer panic. You encourage them to appear more relaxed, but one kid interprets this as a signal to droop his face like a sad puppy. Just when you think you’re ready to snap the perfect shot, your camera is out of focus. By the time you fiddle with the settings (and mutter a few choice words), someone has either a) stood up, b) started a mini brawl, or c) decided to gaze anywhere but at the camera. Their patience is waning, and the moment you re-position one, another acts out like a game of Whac-A-Mole.
Phase Three: Desperation Sets In
Everyone’s patience is thinning, and so is yours. You find yourself sounding increasingly frantic as you shout things like…
- “Smile! SMILE! SMIIII-LE!”
- “Get in closer! … CLOSER!” (while waving wildly)
- “Touch your sibling! No, your brother does NOT stink!”
- “Look right here! Look at ME! Seriously, just let me get a picture already!”
You can’t help but feel like if they would just stand still and smile for two seconds, you’d be done by now.
Phase Four: Acceptance
The dream of that flawless picture has evaporated, and you’re now focused solely on getting a shot where everyone’s eyes are on the camera and no one looks like they’ve just downed a bottle of soda. You’ve given up on the cute poses and just want them clumped together enough to fit into the frame. Instead of saying “cheese,” they request to say “buttholes,” and at this point, you’re too exhausted to care; at least it elicits genuine laughter. You fire off a flurry of photos, hoping that one might turn out decent. Finally, you announce that you’re done, and they scatter like leaves in the wind.
When you sift through the camera roll, deleting the blurry disasters, you’re dismayed to find that your best shot looks like something out of a circus. But hey, after all that effort, you can’t bring yourself to delete it. You decide to share it anyway, pretending it was a candid moment, and adding a caption like, “LOVE capturing these candid photos of my kids!” for good measure.
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In summary, photographing kids is a journey filled with hope, reality checks, desperation, and eventual acceptance. While the perfect shot may elude you, the memories created in the process are what truly matter.
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