Dear Expecting Mother,
Congratulations on the little life you are nurturing! I hope your experience thus far has been smooth and that you’re enjoying those delightful little kicks from within.
Recently, during a conversation with you while juggling my own little one, you expressed your frustration with the abundance of unsolicited advice from those of us who have already navigated motherhood. I’ll admit, it stung a bit when you mentioned it, especially after I had shared what I thought were helpful newborn-care tips. However, I took a moment to reflect and realized that I, too, once felt overwhelmed by the advice of seasoned moms. I often wished they would simply congratulate me and refrain from sharing their experiences.
Having been on both sides of this journey, I feel compelled to extend a heartfelt apology: on behalf of all experienced moms to those soon-to-be moms, I am truly sorry.
I apologize for approaching you with unsolicited advice. I understand how annoying it can be to receive guidance from strangers. When I was pregnant, I longed to go about my day without being interrupted by someone offering unsolicited tips about feeding or soothing a newborn. Yet now I recognize that we experienced moms see your growing belly and understand the challenges that lie ahead. We’ve felt the joy and love of motherhood, but we also remember the struggles. Our intent is to share what we learned, the things that could ease your transition into this new chapter. If only we had known certain tips—like the soothing effect of a vacuum cleaner on a fussy baby or that a pacifier doesn’t sabotage breastfeeding—those early months would have been much less daunting.
I apologize for recounting our birth stories. I understand that discussing topics like “tearing” and “stitches” may heighten your anxiety as you prepare for labor. Our intention is not to frighten you, but to be honest. Before I gave birth, a fellow mom told me that labor was manageable with proper breathing techniques. After experiencing it myself, I realized she was trying to spare me the reality of the pain. Yes, childbirth can be intense, but it’s also fleeting, and soon you will be cradling your newborn.
I’m sorry for repeatedly asking about your due date, baby’s sex, and nursery themes. While it may seem invasive, we’re often reminded of our own pregnancies and the nostalgia that comes with them. I appreciate your patience as we indulge in these memories.
I apologize if we seem dismissive of your parenting ideals, like raising your baby screen-free or preparing all organic baby food. It’s not that we doubt your intentions; rather, we know that once your baby arrives, priorities can shift unexpectedly. You may find that the promises made during pregnancy change as you learn what works best for your little one. Rather than feeling guilt over any alterations to your plans, know that we’ve all been there, and we’ll share a laugh over the things we once swore we would never do.
I also apologize for prying into your personal journey with questions about dilation and breastfeeding plans. This is our way of welcoming you into the sisterhood of motherhood. Initially, these inquiries may feel intrusive, but soon you’ll find yourself discussing all manner of topics as you bond with others in the same boat.
Lastly, I apologize for telling you to sleep now. It can feel frustrating when we suggest you take it easy before your life changes dramatically. However, it’s essential to cherish this time for yourself, as motherhood is a beautiful yet demanding journey.
So, to all the soon-to-be moms out there, I apologize for the unsolicited advice, the anecdotes, and the knowing looks. I promise to be more mindful in the future and simply say, “Congratulations” when I see you. You have an incredible journey ahead, and I wish you endless joy and love as you embrace motherhood.
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Summary
This letter addresses the challenges and insights of motherhood, offering an understanding perspective from experienced mothers to those soon-to-be mothers. It highlights the well-intentioned nature of unsolicited advice and the shared experiences that shape the journey into motherhood.