As a mother, I find myself in a unique situation with my son, Max, who is approaching his fifth birthday. Max is intelligent, compassionate, humorous, and certainly charming. He has a knack for keeping me on my toes with his playful antics, like the time he turned our upstairs bathroom into a mini water park just weeks before the holidays. Yet, despite all his wonderful qualities, Max is not fully potty trained.
Before you raise your eyebrows in disbelief, let me clarify that this is not a choice I’ve made lightly. It’s a reality that I didn’t foresee, and I’ve tried various methods to help him overcome this hurdle. For the past three years, I’ve explored every technique imaginable, from offering incentives to establishing reward charts and setting timers on my phone. We have left public spaces in a hurry when accidents occur, and I’ve even allowed him to continue playing with wet clothing in hopes that he might feel embarrassed enough to change. Unfortunately, that hasn’t worked.
I believe Max was somewhat rushed into potty training at his daycare when he was only two years old, and he may not have been developmentally ready. Furthermore, he has faced significant transitions in his life, including the arrival of a new sibling and moving to a different state. As the middle child, he has endured a lot in the past few years. Therefore, I’ve tried to be patient, implementing potty charts and reminding myself to stay calm, even when dealing with yet another pair of soiled underwear in a public restroom.
While my close mom friends understand and support me in this journey, I can’t help but feel the judgment from other parents. I’ve had strangers approach me at playgrounds to inform me that my son had an accident, which they found distressing because their own children were potty trained by 18 months. These encounters can be incredibly disheartening, and I often wish I could confront those who imply that my parenting is somehow lacking.
In a few months, I’ll be enrolling Max in kindergarten, and the thought of him navigating school life with this ongoing potty training issue is daunting. Kids can be unkind, and while I know he will likely face teasing for various reasons, I hope that this particular challenge won’t become a source of ridicule.
Recently, I consulted with a pediatrician regarding Max’s potty training struggles, and she diagnosed him with constipation. This condition can inhibit his ability to recognize the signals from his body, leading to accidents. While it’s a relief to have an explanation, I understand that it will take time to address this issue, and patience will be essential.
I am confident that Max won’t be heading off to college in a pull-up. I genuinely hope that by the time he starts elementary school, these accidents will be a thing of the past, but if not, we will tackle that bridge when we come to it. He is not the only child facing this challenge, and he certainly won’t be the last.
This journey is complex and often leaves me feeling like a mix of emotions—proud, frustrated, and loyal. However, at the end of the day, my love for Max remains constant, and I will continue to do everything possible to support him. As long as he knows he is loved, we will navigate this together.
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Summary:
Max’s journey with potty training has been a challenging yet enlightening experience. Despite trying various strategies and facing judgment from others, I remain committed to supporting him with love and patience as we navigate this developmental milestone together.