As a mother for the past six years, I have observed a troubling trend within parenting communities that deeply unsettles me. Rather than fostering understanding, some parents boast about their so-called progressive views, believing they embody open-mindedness. However, their approach often perpetuates a harmful narrative.
The concept of colorblindness—believing that ignoring race is a form of equality—actually aligns with racism rather than countering it.
I recall a moment from two years ago, waiting outside my daughter’s preschool. As children rushed out, I overheard a young boy exclaim, “Mom! There are brown kids in my class! Three brown kids!” His mother’s shocked reaction was to hush him, scanning the area for onlookers. The child, bewildered by her response, likely wondered if he had said something inappropriate.
Later that year, after a Christmas Eve service, my family dined at a local restaurant. The place was mostly empty except for a few couples and a family of four. A curious five-year-old girl approached our table. “Hi,” she said, her eyes on my children. “Are those your kids?”
“Yes,” I replied, as her parents watched in stunned silence. She seemed eager to ask more but hesitated. Rather than discourage her curiosity, I explained, “My kids are adopted. Do you know what that means?”
She listened intently, and then asked an insightful question: “Do they see their other mommies?” To which I responded affirmatively. Moments like these highlight the need for openness and honesty.
Children often seek truth. When they ask questions about race or family structures, avoidance or reprimands only create confusion and distrust. Promoting colorblindness instead of embracing the realities of diversity deprives children of the opportunity to acknowledge, understand, and celebrate differences.
In those instances when your child points out a family with varied appearances or expresses excitement about a friend’s differences, embrace the moment. Take a breath, engage, and share your insights. This approach not only affirms their observations but also fosters healthy dialogues about race.
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In summary, addressing your child’s inquiries about race and diversity with honesty fosters trust and understanding. Avoiding these discussions only perpetuates misconceptions and hinders healthy relationships.