If I had understood the true impact of sleep deprivation prior to becoming a parent… If I had been aware of the multitude of bodily fluids I would need to manage during my children’s formative years… If I had anticipated how profoundly the repeated calls of “Mom? Mom? Mom?” could test my patience after years of hearing it… If I had known that I might occasionally linger in the restroom just to find a fleeting moment of solitude… If I had realized that even those brief moments of respite would often be interrupted by small hands knocking on the door… If I had known how frequently I would have to reiterate the same instructions and corrections endlessly… If I had been aware that many so-called expert solutions for whining, crying, and disobedience would often prove ineffective… If I had known that loving my children wouldn’t equate to liking them consistently… If I had understood that there would be times I would find myself crying in the shower, as it was the only place for solitude… If I had known that by the end of certain days, I would feel so touched-out that intimacy with my partner would seem unappealing… If I had realized that my ability to focus would be permanently altered… If I had known that parenting wouldn’t necessarily get easier with age, but would simply present different challenges… If I had known that feelings of inadequacy in motherhood would be a daily occurrence… If I had been aware of the relentless nature of parenting… I still would have chosen to have children.
Because had I not, I would never have experienced the incredible journey of nurturing a tiny being into a full-fledged person within my own body. I would not know the heavenly scent of a newborn’s head. I would miss the enchanting moments of a baby dozing off in my arms, reluctant to let go. I would not recognize the exhilarating pride in witnessing my child’s first steps, their successful use of the potty, or their ability to read an entire book. I would not appreciate how my child’s laughter can uplift even the heaviest of days. I would miss the way an innocent gaze can pierce right through to my heart. I would not realize the joy in watching the gradual development of an individual I helped bring into the world. I would not take pride in seeing my children tackle challenges using the skills I have instilled in them. I would not understand the profound joy in witnessing their successes. I would miss the unexpected lessons in humility that come from the ongoing struggle to be a better parent. I would not see how engaging in parenting can mend the wounds of my own childhood. I would not discover that losing myself in motherhood could lead to the emergence of a stronger, more authentic version of myself. I would not know the warmth of being loved in a way that only a mother can be. I would miss the fierce power of loving in a manner unique to motherhood. And I would not understand that the difficulties and challenges along the way are ultimately outweighed by the beauty and wonder of the journey. If I had been fully aware of what motherhood entailed, I would choose it again without hesitation (though I would certainly prioritize sleep when possible).
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In summary, while the realities of parenting may be daunting, the rewards are immeasurable, illuminating the path with love, joy, and growth.