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Denial
In this initial stage, you find yourself convincing yourself that the seven delivery boxes cluttering your living room are merely filled with soft, plush toys. Is it really already 11 p.m.? Surely, this will be quick—midnight is totally achievable. Perhaps most of the toys are pre-assembled. I mean, look at my impressive credentials from 15 years ago—I was the president of the woodworking club! Nothing requires batteries, right? I bought every battery size we might need. I know exactly where the drill is, and yes, it’s fully charged. I even remember where that tiny screwdriver is. Those pre-drilled holes? They’re definitely ready to go. This year, I won’t need the 9-inch Santoku knife, pliers, jaws of life, or a blow torch. I promise. -
Blame
As the clock ticks, the comments from your partner start to roll in, the one who has contributed nothing to the shopping but is now expected to help assemble toys. You hear the sarcastic remarks from the “I’m over Christmas” partner, who has meticulously hunted for the most coveted gifts since Halloween. “This is your fault; the kids don’t need all these toys!” you say. “No, it’s your fault for waiting until the last minute!” And then the escalation begins: “It’s your mother’s fault for going overboard on the gifts!” Seriously? “It’s your fault for not having any female chromosomes!” You can’t help but feel exasperated, and you think about just going to bed. -
Reminiscing
Ah, the tranquil Christmas Eves of yesteryear—just the two of us by the fireplace, enjoying a dinner devoid of anything shaped like a nugget, and no toys to put together at midnight. Remember sleeping in until 11 a.m. and savoring coffee while exchanging meaningful gifts? Our first Christmas as a married couple, eagerly awaiting our first child. We longed for the day our little one would sit on Santa’s lap without fear and write those cute letters to the jolly man. Nostalgia strikes, reminding us of the corners of our living room that we haven’t seen in ages, baby-proofed and cluttered with toys. Here’s to waking up tomorrow at 5 a.m. and admiring the new water heater we gifted each other. What are we doing for New Year’s Eve? Let’s set the alarm for midnight so we can share a kiss. -
“We’re Done Having Kids”
This realization typically hits a few kids in, around 2 a.m., when exhaustion sets in and voices rise in irritation. The baby is crying for a feeding while the toddler is upset from a nightmare, and you’re still trying to piece together that perfect workbench set. “Don’t ever touch me again!” she exclaims. “Let’s have another baby, you said! It will be fun, you said!” he retorts. “I’m never having sex with you again!” she insists. “How could we? They ALL sleep with us!” he argues. “NO MORE KIDS!” she declares, and he begrudgingly agrees—at least for now. -
Acceptance
Eventually, you both fall silent and focus on the task at hand. You work diligently, like elves in the night, channeling every ounce of energy left to finish assembling the toys. The previous arguments start to fade, replaced by laughter as you step outside to test the shiny new scooter. You toss the football and kick the soccer ball around for a few moments. You label the bike “From Santa,” guide the trains along their tracks, and stuff the stockings. You may only steal a few minutes of sleep, but you wake up grateful for the joyful sounds of children racing through the house at dawn. You’ve embraced the reality that you are, indeed, adults who have successfully navigated another chaotic Christmas Eve.
Merry Christmas!
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Summary: In the chaos of Christmas Eve toy assembly, parents experience a range of emotions from denial and blame to nostalgia and acceptance. Amidst the challenges, they find joy in the memories of the past, the chaos of the present, and the excitement of the future with their children.