As a pediatric specialist, I often encounter parents grappling with the challenge of their young children using inappropriate language. Recently, I was in a drive-thru bank with my 4-year-old daughter, Ava, discussing which flavor of lollipop she might receive that day. But then, the unexpected happened: the tube returned empty. “Looks like the teller forgot to include your lollipop,” I told Ava, maintaining a cheerful tone to ease the disappointment.
Silence followed, and then it came: “Dammit!” she exclaimed, tossing her drawing supplies onto the car floor. Although it was a moment that could have warranted embarrassment, I couldn’t help but find humor in her perfect application of the word. After all, the disappointment of a missing treat certainly feels like a “dammit” moment.
I took the opportunity to explain that such language is reserved for adults and suggested alternative expressions like “rats” or “shucks.” I believed I had successfully navigated the situation.
However, later that day, my older daughter, Lily, informed me that Ava had again used the same expletive when Siri refused to answer her question. It seemed my earlier guidance had not resonated as intended. Days later, when Ava inquired about the outcome of a recent football game, I had to break the news that the team had lost. “Oh, bammit!” she responded, clearly finding a clever workaround.
This was not our first experience with her colorful language. At age 2, she went through a phase of using the F-word with surprising context. Whenever she would drop something, she would mutter, “Ohhhh, f***.” I had hoped her words would remain under wraps, especially during a family road trip where I dreaded the thought of her letting loose in front of her great-grandmother.
Initially, I attempted to ignore her outbursts, adhering to advice suggesting that acknowledging it could give her a sense of power. However, when she used the F-word at childcare, I felt compelled to gently explain that such language was not appropriate. Eventually, she outgrew that phase.
On the other hand, Lily, who is more inclined to follow rules, had a different experience. One day, she asked for her favorite pink pants while I was doing laundry. When I informed her they were still wet, she cheerfully replied, “I guess I’ll just have to wait ’til f***in’ morning!” I had to stifle my laughter and calmly asked what she had said, to which she quickly corrected herself to “crummy morning.” That was the end of her swearing escapades.
As a parent, I don’t view swearing as a significant issue. My children are likely picking up these words from me, and while I don’t use profanity in excess, I have been known to let out a “dammit” in moments of frustration. The reality is that children will hear and learn to use such language, and I believe that they will grow into wonderful individuals regardless of the occasional slip.
Interestingly, Ava has taken a strong stance against words she perceives as hurtful, like “stupid,” actively reprimanding characters on TV who use such language. In our household, we prioritize kindness and discourage words that could harm others, while allowing a few exclamations of frustration.
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In summary, while encountering swearing in young children can be amusing and challenging, it’s essential to approach it with understanding and humor. Children will inevitably learn about language boundaries, and with guidance, they can navigate their expressions in a positive manner.