Reflecting on our journey, my husband, Jake, and I recently marked our 10th anniversary. As I think back on our younger selves, I can’t help but acknowledge the significant shifts that have taken place. Before we welcomed our little ones, our days were filled with spontaneous adventures, cozy dinners, and deep discussions—completely free from the distractions of diapers and baby bottles.
Now, just as parenthood has reshaped our individual identities, it has also redefined our relationship. Here are some ways we’ve seen change over the years:
1. Negotiation Skills
In our pre-kid days, Jake and I instinctively agreed on how to spend our weekends. With no responsibilities beyond ourselves, it was easy to make plans. Nowadays, planning our free time feels more like a high-stakes negotiation. A typical exchange might go like this:
Jake: “I’ll handle the kids’ soccer practice if you take them gift shopping for the birthday bashes this weekend.”
Me: “Not happening. I’m already handling the parties, you’re on gift duty while I catch up on my shows.”
Jake (thinking): “What if I take them to three parties?”
Me: “Sweeten the deal with a taco, and we have a plan.”
2. Entertainment Evolution
While we weren’t exactly globetrotters, we did occasionally venture out for a nice meal or a walk in the park. Fast forward to today, and our weekends are now packed with bouncing from one kid’s birthday party to another, with a sprinkle of family movie nights thrown in. Surprisingly, I find joy in these outings. There’s nothing quite like sharing popcorn during a family-friendly film—even if half of it ends up on the floor.
3. Shifting Conversations
Gone are the days of spirited debates over dinner about politics or pop culture. Now, our dinner conversations have transformed into discussions like this:
Jake: “What did you think about the latest episode of our favorite show?”
Me (trying to concentrate): “Zombies, zombies, zombies… Did my daughter remember to brush her teeth? Is my son asleep? Did I set aside enough for the babysitter?”
Jake (waiting for my response): “Well?”
Me: “I liked the zombies part.”
4. Redefining Romance
Years ago, romance meant candlelit dinners and spontaneous weekend getaways. Today, it’s the small gestures that keep the spark alive. Whether it’s holding hands at the movies or sneaking in a quiet moment while the kids nap, these seemingly simple acts are what keep our connection strong. No, it’s not the Venice gondola ride we dreamed of, but it’s real and meaningful in ways we never anticipated.
5. Love in a New Light
Perhaps the most unexpected change has been falling for a different version of my husband—the devoted father. Watching Jake nurture our children, kiss their scrapes, and support our family has made me fall in love with him all over again. Each day brings a new appreciation for the man who’s navigating this wild journey of parenthood with me.
As I reflect on our decade of marriage and over six years of parenting, it’s clear our relationship has evolved. While I miss the luxurious dinners and idyllic getaways of our past, there’s a unique romance in sharing glances at the playground or enjoying a family pizza night. The man I married has transformed alongside me, and together, we’ve created something even more profound.
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Summary:
In celebrating ten years of marriage, it’s clear that having children has significantly transformed my relationship with my husband. From negotiation and entertainment to communication, romance, and deepening love, parenthood has reshaped our bond in unexpected ways, reminding us that while our lives have changed, our connection remains stronger than ever.
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