The archetype of the “Cat Lady” is a humorous one that we often encounter: a woman with disheveled hair, tattered clothing, and the faint scent of feline. You may have seen her at the supermarket, pushing a cart filled with cat treats, or perhaps you’ve received an unexpected gift from her cats on your porch. If you’ve had a conversation with her while she walks her numerous cats on leashes, you might have learned their names, favorite shows, and even their political views—one cat, for instance, staunchly supports a particular political figure, leading to quite the stir during their communal yoga sessions.
Initially, I wondered what unfortunate circumstances could lead someone to such a life of cat obsession. However, after experiencing the challenges of motherhood, I now believe that the so-called “crazy cat lady” possesses a profound understanding of life. Perhaps she was the eldest of many siblings or the last of her friends to have children, but ultimately, she seems to have garnered a wealth of wisdom.
In my next life, I have resolved to adopt cats instead of raising children. Here are a few compelling reasons why:
- Vegetable Aversion
Both kids and cats tend to shy away from vegetables, but the antics of a cat reacting to a cucumber are often far more amusing. My toddler, on the other hand, expresses his disdain for veggies through loud protests that can lead to quite the mess. - Potty Training
Cats utilize a litter box and display modesty by covering their waste. In contrast, my toddler once celebrated a bathroom mishap with pride, only to spread the evidence throughout the house. - Tranquilizers
While both cats and young children dislike car rides, I can take my cat to the vet for a mild sedative. Attempting this with my child would likely result in some severe consequences. - Nap Time
Convincing my toddler to take a nap resembles an epic showdown, whereas cats effortlessly sleep at any time and in any location, allowing me to rest without interruption. - Collars
It’s deemed unsafe to put a bell on a child, which complicates nighttime awareness. I can’t count the times I’ve awoken to find my child looming over me, whispering or petting my hair. - No Therapy Needed
When my cat walks in on my private moments, he remains unfazed. Unlike children, who might require emotional support after an unexpected encounter, my cat simply observes. - Bed Sharing
If uninterrupted, adult time occurs, my toddler inevitably finds his way into my bed, claiming a vast portion of it. My cat, however, seeks comfort in a laundry basket, allowing me some space. - Sex Education
For those managing pre-teens, the straightforward solution is to spay or neuter—no further explanation required. - Bath Time
Bathing my toddler is akin to wrestling an alligator. Cats, in contrast, groom themselves quietly, with minimal fuss involved. - Parasite Management
When my cat faces a flea problem, a collar and a short separation do the trick. I prefer not to spend hours searching for lice in my child’s hair. - Dinner Solutions
Cats are adept at finding food, whether by charming the neighbors or targeting a family pet. Children, however, require constant meal reminders. - Disciplinary Measures
Cats respond to discipline simply; a quick spray of water is usually sufficient. With children, the discipline process can take an excruciatingly long time. - Back Talk
My cat has never uttered words of disdain or used profanity. He may have given me a judgmental glance, but that’s the extent of his rebellion. - Agility
Cats are known to land on their feet, a trait not shared by toddlers, who often seem magnetically drawn to sharp corners and hard surfaces. - Milk Consumption
At least when my cat enjoys milk, I don’t have to deal with the aftermath of breastfeeding.
After raising three children within five years, I often feel disheveled and perpetually sleep-deprived. The Cat Lady can leave her pets unattended while she shops or maintains her social life, without fear of intervention from child services.
In summary, while both cats and children have their unique challenges, the simplicity and humor of cat ownership seem far more appealing for my next existence. For further insights on family-building options, I recommend visiting Resolve for comprehensive resources. To boost your understanding of fertility, check out Make A Mom, which offers valuable information in this area.