When a baby enters the world, every moment feels monumental. It’s astonishing how life can transform so rapidly. Just hours before, everything seemed one way, but now, you’ve experienced an irreversible, profound shift. You’ve always understood love, but now you feel a depth of affection that makes previous experiences seem shallow and fleeting. At the beginning, you measure your baby’s age in hours, then days. It’s a natural progression, much like counting the weeks of pregnancy. Before long, you’ll find yourself measuring in months—6 months, 8 months, 12 months—and soon enough, you’ll be thinking in terms of years. One day, you may even use your child’s age to gauge your own.
When a child passes away, the perception of time becomes just as disorienting. How could it be that just moments before, everything was fine? They’ve been searching for him for hours. It’s been a day since Jack was taken from us. One week. Two weeks. Three. Can it really be a month? Should we start counting in months now? His belongings remain—a pair of new school shoes that never got worn sits by his room’s door. He still receives mail.
As we remember the weeks, we think back to that fateful Thursday at 6 PM. When considering months, we recall the 8th. It’s a double blow of sorrow. Will there come a time when we only think of the years? What about decades? I believe there will. Jack won’t grow older, but we will. He’ll forever be just shy of 12 ½.
During his early years, you celebrate milestones, and while there are days that feel overwhelmingly difficult, you wish to savor every moment of his childhood. Now, with the loss of a child, you mourn as the chasm between the past and the present widens, yet you find yourself wishing for the years to pass more quickly. Decades without him seem unbearable.
If you’re familiar with Lisa, you likely hold her in high regard; it’s impossible not to admire her strength. In the wake of the unimaginable loss of her son, Lisa exemplified grace. Her blog, once a light-hearted glimpse into the everyday life of a mom, transformed into a powerful tribute to her son, her faith, and her resilience.
Her first book, Rare Bird: A Memoir of Loss and Love, is now available. While the narrative is undeniably heartbreaking, its core theme is one of faith, love, and hope. This is a book that deserves a spot on your reading list. By the end, you’ll find yourself inspired by Lisa, just as I have been.
If you’d like to delve deeper into the complexities of parenting and loss, consider reading this post on our blog. For those exploring home insemination options, check out the reputable offerings from Make a Mom. Additionally, CDC’s resource on pregnancy and home insemination is invaluable.
In summary, this poignant reflection on the passage of time after a child’s birth and loss encapsulates the bittersweet nature of parenthood. It reminds us of the deep love we hold and the heartache we endure, highlighting the complexities of time and memory in our lives.
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