Are you expecting a child? Perhaps you’re considering starting a family? Or maybe you’re not planning on having kids anytime soon, but you feel compelled to share parenting advice because you have a “fur baby,” which you believe is comparable to raising a human child. If so, this article is for you. Here are some phrases to avoid as you contemplate how to nurture your future child. Trust me, I’ve made these mistakes myself, so there’s no need to feel ashamed or defensive.
1. My baby will never have formula.
While I can say that I was fortunate enough to breastfeed both of my children, you might not have the same experience. Life is unpredictable, and you can’t foresee the challenges that may arise. So, before you criticize formula as being filled with “man-made toxins,” remember that your future child might need it for their well-being. Just in case, I’ll save you some coupons for when that time comes.
2. My infant will sleep through the night by __ months.
Unless you possess some extraordinary foresight, making this proclamation is ill-advised. Even if you’ve read countless sleep training books, nothing can prepare you for the reality of a sleepless night with a crying baby. Just remember, sleep training is not a one-size-fits-all solution. Your child may surprise you with their unique sleep patterns as they grow.
3. My child won’t watch television until age 2.
I’ve been guilty of saying this myself until I eventually caved and introduced my toddler to cartoons at 18 months. As a stay-at-home parent, I found it challenging to avoid screen time completely. While I don’t advocate for excessive TV watching, having a little distraction can be beneficial, especially when you see your child engaging with their favorite characters.
4. My child will never eat fast food.
While I can proudly say that my child has never tasted certain fast food chains, their favorite meal happens to be from Chick-fil-A. No matter how hard you try to avoid it, your child will likely encounter fast food at some point in their lives, and they will survive to tell the tale. Remember, these indulgences are not the end of the world.
5. My child will never misbehave in public.
Do you really think your little one will be calm and quiet while out in public? It’s simply unrealistic. Even the most well-behaved children can have their moments, leading to embarrassing situations. Just wait for the day when your toddler’s temper flares in the middle of a store; it will be an experience you won’t forget.
6. Our lives won’t revolve around our baby’s schedule.
How do you plan to maintain your pre-baby lifestyle? Scheduled naps and mealtimes are often necessary for the well-being of your child. As soon as you welcome a little one into your life, your priorities will inevitably shift, and you’ll learn this firsthand. Let’s revisit this topic a year after your child’s arrival and share a laugh at the ideas we once held.
I hope this article provides a bit of levity and perspective. We’ve all been there, and if you find yourself sharing these sentiments with friends who are parents, consider expressing your gratitude for their patience in dealing with your “childless” wisdom. For now, focus on your own needs, and when you do become a parent, you can share this knowledge with those who are yet to experience it.
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Summary
This article humorously highlights common misconceptions held by those without children regarding parenting. It emphasizes the unpredictable nature of parenting and encourages humility and openness to learning from experienced parents.